KH Bloopers: What Could've Happened
by MarleneShadowheart
Summary: If the events of the Kingdom Hearts series were real, then how many funbles and embarrassing mistakes do you think could have happened? A lot. Rated T for some violence. Hilarity begins here!
1. KH2 & KH2FM

**Instead of writing these bloopers as if they were a video game, I decided to write them as if this stuff actually happened. ENJOY!**

**Btw, this is my first story, so PLEASE DON'T HATE :) However, feel free to leave comments, ideas and suggestions!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have I ever owned Kingdom Hearts. **

**Warning: SPOILERS!**

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><p><span>Kingdom Hearts 2 &amp; KH2FM<span>

_The Meeting at The World That Never Was..._

Axel looked at Xaldin/Xemnas in horror. "Get rid of him?" He slammed his fist down on his chair. "Wait a second! Isn't it a bit early for that?"

"It's an order," said Xaldin/Xemnas. "Why are you hesitating? Aren't you the one who dealt swift merciless judgment to those who turned their backs on the organization?"

"He hasn't turned his back on us!" Axel yelled back at him. "He's just not able to come back yet!"

Xaldin/Xemnas crossed his arms. "If he doesn't come back, then he must pay the price." A floating spear appeared next to him. "If you oppose these orders, then you will be the one to pay!"

The spear goes flying through the air, but instead of hitting Axel, it flew in a completely different direction and hit Xigbar in his good eye, making him fall out of his chair. Xaldin/Xemnas was too embarrassed to say anything. After a short silence, Axel teleported and left.

Xaldin/Xemnas cleared his throat. "…sorry Xiggy."

A muffled "I'm okay" was heard from below.

_At The Old Mansion in Twilight Town..._

After defeating all the nobodies in the mansion basement, Roxas looked up and, to his surprise, saw Axel standing there with his arms folded across his chest.

"Simply amazing Roxas," Axel exclaimed sarcastically.

"Axel," replied Roxas in the same tone.

Axel put his arms down and turned to face him. "You really DO remember me this time! I'M SO FLATTERED!

Nothing happened. Breathing heavy, Axel looked around and waited for something to happen. After a long pause, he put his arms down and slumped, his face turning bright red.

Roxas didn't know what to say. "Ummmm…..you're welcome, man—

"Oh, shut up," Axel grumbled.

_Still at The Old Mansion in Twilight Town..._

Roxas walked down a strange hallway and noticed two figures in what looked like small pods. "Donald? Goofy?" Roxas then looked towards the door at the end of the hall.

Once he passed through the door, he saw DiZ standing in front of a really big pod. Inside floated Sora. Instead of acknowledging DiZ's existence, Roxas ran towards the pod.

"Sora!" Roxas screamed. He then freaked out and started lashing at the pod with his keyblade. "Don't worry, Sora! I'll save you!"

"What the what do you think you're doing?" DiZ stared at Roxas, who was starting to make a crack in the pod.

"What's going on in here?" Ansem Seeker of Darkness (ahem, Riku) ran in and noticed Roxas going crazy. "DiZ, why don't you DO SOMETHING?"

"Don't look at me! I'm a bloody data-based projection! Why don't YOU do something?" DiZ yelled back at him. "ME? Are you crazy? That would mess up my hair!" he yelled back.

The two of them continued fighting like this until Namine walked in and hit Roxas with a tranquilizer gun. He soon fell asleep, while DiZ and Ansem Seeker of Darkness (cough, cough, Riku) stared at Namine with a mixture of bewilderment, amazement, and looks that said "I'm going to pretend I didn't just see that."

_Later, at The World That Never Was..._

Sora and the others are surrounded by shadow heartless, wondering what they should do. Just then, Xigbar shoots down all of the heartless with his arrowguns. "Have you been a good boy?" Xigbar asked Sora.

Out of nowhere, Kairi yelled, "You leave Sora alone!" She jumped from some random balcony, tackled Xigbar to the ground, and started pounding his face into the ground.

"Can somebody get this chick OFF OF ME?" Xigbar screamed. Sora examined his nails and pretended to have nothing to do with it, so Namine had to step in _again_ and shoot Kairi with the tranquilizer gun.

_Still At The World That Never Was..._

After Sora's reunion with Kairi, he still could not believe that Xehanort's heartless was really his best friend Riku. Kairi took his hand and placed it on hers and Riku's. "Close your eyes," she said softly.

Sora did as he was told. And there, to his amazement, was Riku, standing before him. Sora opened his eyes again. "Riku..." he said. He collapsed onto his knees. "It's Riku...Riku's here..." Sora started crying. "I looked for you!"

"C'mon, Sora. You've got to pull it together!" Riku replied.

Sora continued to cry. "I looked everywhere for you!"

"Dude, I was in Twilight Town the _whole time._" Riku said, agitated.

Sora stopped crying. "Oh!" he said, grinning sheepishly. "I forgot to check there!"

Riku facepalmed.

_The Ending..._

Sora looked at the note that Riku handed him. He started to read it out loud. "Thinking of you, wherever you are..." Kairi joined in: "We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend..."

Riku, caught in the moment, started reading the letter over his shoulder and joined in too: "Now I will step forward to realize this wish."

Sora and Kairi: RIKU!

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><p><strong>So that concludes the bloopers for Kingdom Hearts 2 and KH2FM. Hope you enjoyed it. I might have made it a little too violent...got carried away...<strong>**so please leave comments and suggestions. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts! XD**

**Next up, 358/2 Days!**


	2. KH 358 2 Days

**Thanks so much to Bond Of Flame08 and rexroy101 for your reviews. You guys rock!**

**Now it is time for the bloopers that people probably weren't waiting for: KH 358/2 Days!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor will I ever own Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.**

**Warning: SPOILERS GALORE!**

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

_Why The Sun Sets Red..._

"Today makes 255," said Roxas out loud. "What's that about?" asked Axel, his ice cream stick still in his mouth.

"It's been that many days since I first joined the organization." Roxas sighed. "Man, time flies."

Axel took the stick out of his mouth. "So, you've got the number memorized, do ya?"

"Have to hang onto something, right?" Roxas said half-heartedly. "It's not like I have any memories from before the organization. Don't you remember? I acted like a zombie!"

Axel put his hand on Roxas' shoulder. "Right, that first week you could barely form a sentence." His mood suddenly brightened. "But come on—"

He jokingly slapped Roxas on the back, but a little too hard. "AAAAAAHHHH!" Roxas fell of the building and landed on the ground far below with a CRASH!

Axel stood there stunned for a minute, his hand still up in the air. "S-sorry, man!" he yelled down.

"..."

"..."

"...s'okay!"

_Snarl of Memories..._

Roxas looked out over the ocean in front of him. He picked up a seashell. It reminded him of her. "Xion," he said, not intending to say her name out loud.

Just then, he looked towards the pier and saw her! With renewed hope he ran towards her.

"Xion!" he cried. She turned and pulled her hood down. Roxas smiled, and words started pouring out before he could see who was really under the hood.

"Xion I was so worried where have you been I missed you so much why are you—ZEXION?"

Zexion smiled at him. Roxas sank to the ground and started shuddering violently. "Zexion, you're a WOMAN! Oh, oh, oh..."

He started rolling on the ground. Zexion raised one of his eyebrows and turned to Riku. "Well...surely, you must have known that this was going to happen?" Riku shrugged. "How would I know?" Roxas continued to have a mild seizure.

_Xion's Capture..._

Xion pointed her keyblade at Roxas, and was just about ready to strike when Axel threw a flaming chakram at her. She guarded his attack with her keyblade.

"Well hello there, Xion," he said, walking towards her. "Axel?" Roxas said, confused. Just then, Xion lunged at Axel, and they broke out into fierce combat. Roxas didn't know what to do—he didn't want to see his best friends fight. "Stop!" he screamed.

Xion stopped for a moment, and Axel saw this as an opportunity. "Aaaaaiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhh!" he screamed. He chopped his hand down on her shoulder.

Nothing happened. He then continued to chop her shoulder, while Xion continued to give him weird looks. After a few hours on continuous chopping, he sighed in defeat. "Oh, forget it." He walked away, so Roxas and Xion shrugged and went to go get sea salt ice cream.

_Xion Attacks..._

"Roxas, I'm out of time," Xion began. She stood up and lifted her hood. "Even if I'm not ready, I have to make this choice. You have poured so many memories into me, given me so much, that I feel like I'm about to overflow. Look at me Roxas. If you see someone else's face, a boy's face, then that means I'm almost ready. This puppet will have to play her part. Roxas," she turned to him, because he hadn't actually said anything for a long time.

He looked like this: 80

"Ummm...Roxas?" She/He waved her/his hand over his face. Roxas looked at her, his expression the same. "...you're...a...GUY!" he groaned. Xion sighed, rolled her eyes, and walked away.

A little while later, Axel appeared. "Hey, Roxas! What's up?" Roxas turned and grabbed Axel by the collar of his coat. "How many hermaphrodites are IN this game?

_Roxas vs. Riku (Deep Dive)..._

Using two keyblades, Roxas slayed (slaved, slain?) heartless this way and that, doing cool kung-foo moves as he went. He then started to run up the side of a large skyscraper that seemed larger than all the others.

Above, Riku stood at the top, waiting for him. About halfway up, Roxas threw one of his keyblades up to Riku, and Riku jumped down to catch it.

As Roxas went up and Riku went down, the Coca-Cola ad that used to play on the building suddenly changed unexpectedly into a *ahem, shocking* Victoria's Secret ad.

Roxas screamed. "THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" He stopped going up and started to fall.

Riku clutched his face. "My blindfold! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" They both fell to the ground, smashing their heads against the pavement, trying to remove the image from their minds.

**...well that was short. There are only so many cutscenes in this game. Not much to work with. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Please send me your comments, concerns, questions, suggestions, and other shtuff. **

**Btw, Hermaphrodite—a person who has both male and female "parts" ...yeah, I don't know...**

**Next up, Birth By Sleep!**


	3. KH Birth By Sleep

**Thanks again to those who reviewed, you know who you are! Thanks to Bond Of Flame08 for ideas that I have used! Next up, Birth By Sleep. In my opinion, one of the best Kingdom Hearts games EVAH! (Which made it hard to bash—I mean, make fun of—wait, I mean...to write about in a constructive manner, yes.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, never have, blah blah blah...**

**Warning: SPOILERS AND SPOILERS AND SPOILERS, OH MY!**

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><p><span>Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep<span>

_The Mark of Mastery Exam..._

"We have deliberated, and reached a decision," Master Eraqus said at the end of the exam. "You both performed comendably. However, only Aqua has shown the mark of mastery. Terra, you failed to keep the darkness within you sufficiently in check. But there is always next time. That is all. Aqua, as our newest keyblade master, you are entitled to certain knowledge. Please wait here for further instruction."

Eraqus left. "Hey..." Aqua said, trying to comfort Terra. Ventus came over too. "Terra, I'm so sorry."

Terra shook his head. "The darkness, where did it come from?" Aqua gave him a funny look. "Ummm...who are you talking to?" Terra snapped back to reality. "Ummm...no one," he said, embarrassed.

_The Departure..._

Ventus went running down the stairs yelling, "Terra!" Terra turned to look at his friend.

When Ventus stopped to catch his breath, Terra just smiled, tousled his hair, and said, "It's okay." He then turned around, and pounded the metal thingy on his shoulder dramatically.

His normal clothes magically changed into a suit of armor. Ventus was fascinated.

Then Terra threw his keyblade into the sky—and it hit him back in the face. Ventus, Aqua, and Master Eraqus all burst out laughing.

Master Eraqus turned to Master Xehanort. "Why aren't you laughing?" Xehanort turned to Eraqus with a stony expression. "I find all sources of laughter and fun highly illogical," he said, and slumped away.

_Still the Departure..._

In the blink of an eye, Terra had flown away, **(considering what I just wrote didn't happen). **Ventus watched his best friend go. He had to do something! So, he, too, slapped the metal thingy on his shoulder, and his clothes transformed into a cooler suit of armor. Imitating what his friend has just did, he threw his keyblade up in the air, and it transformed into a cool skateboardish thing.

As it swooped down to pick him up, he back flipped into the air, his ride flew out from under him—and he landed on his butt.

Because of this unfortunate incident, he had to use a small, pink bicycle with training wheels and ribbons hanging off the side (courtesy of Master Eraqus).

_In Some Other World at the Time..._

Snow White was in a meadow, picking wild flowers for who knows what reason, when something totally random, (but not completely accidental) happened.

"Lalala, lalalala, lala—oof!" A speeding skateboard thing came flying out of know where and hit her in the back of the head, giving her slight amnesia and confusion.

_Back to the Departure..._

With much grunting and pedaling, Ventus "flew" away on his bicycle. Master Eraqus looked at Aqua. "You have to bring him back!" Silently to himself he said, "That kid owes me 500 munny..."

Aqua nodded. "Don't worry, master!" Then she slapped the metal thingy on her arm with flair, and her clothes were transformed into armor (you get the jist).

She then threw her keyblade up into the air so hard—that it didn't come back down. She stared up at the sky for a bit, the air thick with the scent of awkward, and cleared her throat.

Master Eraqus sighed. "Here, take mine." Aqua squealed with delight as she was given Eraqus' very own bright pink rhinestone encrusted keyblade.

_At the Dwarf Woodlands..._

Terra approached Snow White, who had just recovered from the whole "skateboard-thing-flying-out-of-know-where-and-hitting-her-in-the-head" incident. She turned around to greet him. "Why, hello," she said. Terra gave her a puzzled look. "Aren't you startled?" He asked.

"Should I be?" she asked in return. Terra shook his head. "It's true then. Her heart is pure light. She's the one."

Snow White looked at him puzzled. "Who are you talking to?" Terra snapped back to reality.

"Does the name Xehanort mean anything to you?" he asked. "Why, no, I don't think I've ever heard that name," she replied.

"Now what?" he asked outloud. Snow White looked around. "Are you sure you aren't talking to someone?" she asked. Terra was then forced to snap back to reality again.

_At the Olympus Coliseum..._

Zack fell to the ground, the darkness leaving his heart. Out of nowhere, cheers erupted and confetti fell from the sky. Terra looked around suspiciously. He helped Zack up and they introduced themselves.

Zack examined Terra, and nodded with satisfaction. "Mmm, yup. Terra, you're exactly what I pictured a hero would be," Zack commented. "Not the way you look. There's something else about you." Terra turned his back to Zack. "Well, I'm no hero, trust me," he said sadly.

"Are you kidding?" Zack said. "Just listen to those cheers, man!" Again, Terra looked around suspiciously. "But...there's no one here..."

_Somewhere far away, some guy with a sound synthesizer is laughing evilly. _

_In That Spacey Part Between Each of the Worlds..._

Terra was riding his metal motorcycle thingy to the next world, when all of a sudden he saw Ventus' light in the distance. "Ven?" he said.

Ventus was puffing and pedaling through the void when he saw Terra off in the distance. "Terra!" he exclaimed. He started pedaling faster toward his friend.

Terra realized that Ventus was pedaling towards him at full speed. "Ummm, Ven? Ven!"

Ventus started to panic. He looked around for a brake—but the brakes had been taken off! (Another courtesy of Master Eraqus.)

Terra tried steering his vehicle in another direction, but it was put on autopilot. So, they just screamed for dear life. "AAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

*Silence*

*Silen—BOOM!"

_Radiant Garden..._

After Mickey's spark flew away, Kairi turned to Aqua. "Here," she said, handing her a bouquet of flowers. "Are these for me?" Aqua asked.

Kairi nodded. "I picked you some flowers. Thank you for saving me." Aqua took the flowers. "Oh, they're lovely! You're so sweet," she said.

"My name's Kairi. Nice to meet you," she said.

"Nice to meet you too," Aqua said. "I'm Aqua. Kairi, about that light—"

"KAIRI!" called Kairi's grandmother. "Grandma!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Wait, Kairi, just a minute," Aqua said. She placed a finger on Kairi's chest. "I just cast a magic spell on you. One day when you're in danger—"

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Kairi's grandmother yelled. She tackled Aqua and started beating the life out of her. "GET YOUR MITTS OFF MY GRANDDAUGHTER YOU HIPPIE!"

"No, wait! My name is Aqua! I train under Master Eraqus! I'm a KEYBLADE MASTER!"

Kairi continued to watch, without calling for help.

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><p><strong>Hehe...I see where Kairi gets her *ahem* charm!<strong>

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><p><em>The Death of Master Eraqus...<em>

"What have I done?" Terra asked. "Master..." Master Eraqus stood there, looking at Terra.

"No..." Master Eraqus shook his head. "You were right, I failed you, Terra. Perhaps I have no one to blame but myself for the darkness inside you. And now, I've done worse. Raised my keyblade against you and Ventus. I think I've earned my stay at a spa. Goodbye, Terra!"

Master Eraqus then left in a burst of light. Terra sank to his knees. "Master Eraqus..."

The voice of Master Eraqus rang out through the sky. "I'm not dead, you idiot!" Terra continued to blubber like a small child.

_In That Same Other World At the Time..._

Snow White was walking home from picking flowers again, (which is an unhealthy obsession), when Aqua's keyblade came flying out of know where and hit her in the head and knocked her out _again_. Her last words before she blacked out: déjà vous.

_Big Battle Scene..._

"Why don't you leave the popsicle with me, so that you can go have your little fight with Terra?" Braig said. "You can't be too happy with him for deep-sixing your master."

Aqua glared at him. "Who are you?" Braig returned her cold stare with a shark vs. minnow kind of smile.

"You two think you have some grand role to play. As if! You're only here so that when I finish you off, Terra will succumb to the darkness. So, who wants to go first?" he asked.

Ventus glared at him. "Shut up!" he tried to say, except his mouth was frozen shut, so it sounded more like, "Shuzut!" Braig gave him a weird look. "What did you say?"

"Ishedshuzut!" (I said shut up!)

"Ven, nobody knows what you're saying," Aqua explained.

"Imtukinvryklerly! Ishedshuzut!" (I'm talking very clearly! I said shut up!)

"Shove _what_ up my _what_?" Braig said, appalled.

Aqua slapped him. "Ven! Wash your mouth!"

"Nung! Nung! Aznutvutished!" (No! No! That's not what I said!)

Braig started crying. "No, I understand. I understand completely!" He ran away, still crying. Aqua looked at Ventus. "Ven, that wasn't very nice at all," she said.

Ventus rolled his eyes.

_The Same Big Battle Scene..._

After Aqua was finished beating the crud out of Braig, he ran away, saying, "Well, he wanted me to buy time, and I'd say he got it." Aqua looked at him, puzzled.

Just then, Ventus saw Vanitas jump from a high ledge, keyblade in hand, ready to strike Aqua down.

"Aqua!" he yelled. Aqua turned toward Ventus, her back to Vanitas. "What?"

Vanitas came down, except he had underestimated the distance and smashed face-first into the ground. A barely audible "Ouch," was heard.

Aqua finally turned around. "Oh! Hi Vanitas!" Vanitas, his face still in the ground, mumbled a "Hi, Aqua," as well.

_Still at that Big Battle Scene..._

"You see how perilous you are to save them?" Xehanort said. "Savor that rage and despair! Let it empower you!"

"You will pay, Xehanort," said Terra. "Was my master—no, my father Eraqus not enough for you?" Still out of nowhere, Master Eraqus answered him.

"QUIT TELLIN' EVERYONE I'M DEAD!" Terra continued not to hear him.

_The Forge of the X-Blade..._

Inside Ventus' heart, Ventus and Vanitas both stood in battle stances, ready to fight. "Our union was not finished," said Vanitas. "The x-blade shouldn't stay broken like this. Join me now, so we can complete the x-blade!"

"I've got a better idea," said Ventus. "How 'bout I destroy you both?"

Vanitas laughed. "The keyblade is made from your heart too, idiot. If you destroy it, your heart will vanish forever."

"Whatever it takes. Anything to save Terra and Aqua," Ventus said.

"It's always about your friends, isn't it?"

"At least I have some! I've become a part of their heart, just as they've become a part of mine. My friends are my power, and I'm theirs!" exclaimed Ventus. And they leaped into combat.

After the battle, they both stood there, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.

Ventus looked at Vanitas. "So, what was supposed to happen, anyway?"

Vanitas shrugged. "Well, I dunno. I guess once we battled each other, the x-blade was just supposed to...you know...create."

They just stood there. Finally, Vanitas cleared his throat. "...we're stuck down here, aren't we?"

Ventus just nodded.

_Final Episode: Land of Departure..._

Aqua, shocked as she was, carried Ventus with her into the place where they had their mark of mastery exam. She could even hear Master Eraqus' voice in her head.

"Aqua."

"Yes?"

"Now that you are a master, there is one secret in particular you must know. Should anything happen to me, and you find the legion of darkness at our doorstep, I ask that you take my keyblade, and use it to lock this land away."

Aqua then realized that it couldn't have been a flashback—he had never said those things to her. She looked to the corner of the room. Master Eraqus sat there with a microphone, talking in a mystic kind of voice.

"Generations of keyblade masters have been charged with keeping this land safe—oh, hi Aqua."

Aqua glared at him.

_Back in Ventus' Heart..._

Ventus and Vanitas were now just sitting there, playing a game of cards. Vanitas sighed. "Hey," he said.

"Yeh?" said Ventus.

"How come you didn't want to do the whole 'joining of the x-blade' thing? Give me an honest reason."

"I dunno, I guess you just aren't my type."

"But we both have the same interests, the same hobbies, favorite music-"

"Yeah, but you're all 'Enter the Void' and I'm all 'My friends are my power' and I mean it just wouldn't work out.

"...there's someone else, isn't there?"

"What, no!"

"Is it Aqua?"

"No! We're just friends!"

"...is it Kairi?"

"I don't even know _who_ Kairi is!"

"Uh-huh," Vanitas commented, his eyebrows raised.

They stopped talking after realizing that the conversation had made a turn for the worst.

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><p><strong>Wow...I definitely did not expect this to be so long. I guess since it has 3 parts, there's more to work with. Although, sorry I didn't put any other Final Episode bloopers or anything from Blank Points, after a while I was just drained. So, send me your thoughts and suggestions. <strong>

**I don't know if I should do ReCOM or not, (since I hated that game with a fiery passion), but since I hated it I guess making bloopers would be fun...but if you have any ideas for what game I should do next, PLEASE let me know!**


	4. KH ReCoM: Pt 1

**Wow, so many reviews! Thanx guys! Since I'm going completely out of order, I've decided to do Kingdom Hearts Re: COM next. Considering that this game was *cough* awful *cough*, this will be rather fun, (evil chuckle). So, let us begin!**

**Disclaimer: (Am I required to put one?)**

**Warning: They use a weird card system in this game. WHO FIGHTS BAD GUYS WITH CARDS? (Jeez).**

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><p><span>Kingdom Hearts: Re: Chain of Memories<span>

_Entering Castle Oblivion..._

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all entered Castle Oblivion and looked around. "You think its okay to barge in?" Goofy asked. "But we've got to do it, if we are going to find the King," Donald said.

"The King?" exclaimed Goofy. "King Mickey's here?"

Donald crossed his arms. "Something just told me he'd be here, okay?" "Really?" Goofy asked. "Cuz now that you mention it, I was kind of thinking the same thing."

"Seriously, me too!" said Sora. "One look at this castle, and I just knew: our very best friends, they're here!" Donald and Goofy couldn't help but notice that Sora's voice had gone from being very annoying and chipmunkish, to being slightly deeper, richer, and cuter.

_Somewhere else in Castle Oblivion, Zexion had the weirdest feeling._ "What is wrong, Zexion?" asked Lexaeus.

Zexion put his hand to his nose. "A scent just went out, and a very strong one, too," he said. "You mean the scent of darkness?" asked Lexaeus, since he was the thickest member in the Organization, both physically and mentally.

"No," said Zexion. "Not darkness, but something else..." He shrugged.

_Somewhere on Earth, a group of Kingdom Hearts fangirls were having a meeting. _Their leader **(we'll call her Carol, shall we?) **felt a disturbance in the force. She turned to her fellow fan-people. "Fellow members of the Kingdom Hearts fanclub, our agenda has changed." All the other members stood up, shocked. "

"We are no longer hunting Riku?" asked the second-in-command. Carol shook her head. "We will be hunting a new subject from now on," she said, referring to Sora.

_Somewhere in the realm of darkness, Riku stirred in his sleep._ He felt as if he had just gained some competition.

_The First Card..._

"If what you want is to find Riku..." said Marluxia. He blasted Sora with his breezy-fragrant-flowery magic and flew right through him.

Sora turned around and tried slicing Marluxia with his keyblade, but it passed through him, and he disappeared. Marluxia appeared again at the top of the stairs.

"What'd you do?" asked Sora. "I merely sampled your memories, and from it, I made this," he held up a card with a picture of Traverse Town on it.

"To reunite with those you hold dear," he threw that card to Sora. Because Sora wasn't prepared, it flew at him and hit him right in the eye.

"Ouch!" Sora cried. Covering his eye with one hand, he examined the card with his good eye. "What's this, a card" he asked skeptically.

Marluxia sighed. "No, it's a poodle—OF COURSE IT'S A CARD! Jeez," he teleported away.

_During the Boss Battle in Traverse Town..._

As Sora was defeating the Guard Armour, (while wearing his new eye patch), he realized that he needed to call Donald so that he could cure himself, considering he was all out of cure cards.

He held up the card and yelled, "Donald!" Instead of the real Donald coming out to help him, a cardboard cutout of Donald appeared beside him.

"Well I can't actually put your friends into a card. Nobody can do that!" Marluxia called from somewhere unknown.

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><p><strong>Get it? <strong>_**Nobody**_** can do that? XD**

* * *

><p>Before Sora could respond, he was slammed against the side of a building by the Guard Amour's fist.<p>

_After Visiting Traverse Town..._

Sora and the others emerged from the door and approached Marluxia. "Well Sora, did you enjoy meeting your memories?" he asked. "Yeah, it was good to see everyone," said Sora. "But what do you really want from me?"

"What do you have to give?" asked Marluxia. Just as he started walking towards Sora, Axel appeared.

"Hello!" he exclaimed. "What do you want?" asked Marluxia.

"No hoggin' the hero," complained Axel. Marluxia spun around and tried throwing a card to Axel, except it got stuck on his glove.

"Damnit..." he growled. As he flapped his hand around, trying to get the card off, Axel teleported away, and Sora just sighed and left.

_One Floor After That..._

Sora and the others were struggling to remember the name of the castle in which Sora turned into a heartless in order to save Kairi. "Awww, you forgot that? Because I remember perfectly," said Donald.

"Then what's it called?" challenged Sora. "That's easy," said Donald. "It was..."

He couldn't even remember the name. "Jiminy, help me! Is it in your journal?" "Every word," said Jiminy Cricket. "I finished the first volume, right before we entered this castle. Now, if I could just find it..."

Jiminy reached deep down into Sora's back. "Ah! Here we go! Now, let's have a look." He opened the journal. He gasped. "Wha—how can it be?" Jiminy cried.

"What's the matter?" asked Goofy. "Just look at my notebook!" exclaimed Jiminy.

Inside the pages were a bunch of cool doodles of Axel burning things, drawings of different keyblades, a bunch of hearts, flowers, and rainbows, a pretty good caricature of Roxas, and a _provacative_ picture of what Xemnas would look like naked.

There were also different messages that said:

'JIMINY CRICKET SUCKS EGGS'

'SEASALT ICECREAM=YUM!'

'HEY THERE, SOMEBODY!'

'XION+D.R. = 3'

and 'WE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN'

And who's D.R. anyway?" asked Jiminy.

"Daniel Radcliff," Sora mumbled.

_A Few Floors Later..._

Donald and Goofy were just about to move up to the next floor when Sora exclaimed, "I remember!" They turned to look at him.

"There was another girl!" Sora cried. "What? Where?" they said.

"No, no. I mean on the islands where I used to live. Besides Kairi and Riku, there was one other girl I was friends with. The four of us played together all the time!"

"Sora," started Jiminy. Sora screamed. "AAAHHHHH! A SPIDER!" He squashed Jiminy with his hand and sent him flying across the room. After a silence between Donald and Goofy, they all moved up to the next floor.

_Meeting Larxene... _

Sora and the others emerged from the door and came face to face with Larxene. Sora whipped out his keyblade. "I bet you work with Axel!" said Donald.

"Too clever," said Larxene. "I'm Larxene. So, are you enjoying your stay at the castle? I bet it's nice to peel away all the worthless memories, and awaken the true memories that lie deep in your heart."

Sora was puzzled. "True memories?" "Although, it still seems that you're forgetting the most important thing here. When that poor girl hears that you've forgotten her name, why, it'll just...it'll break her heart!" said Larxene.

"Poor girl? Do you know her?" asked Sora. Larxene chuckled. "Is she...here?" He asked.

"Yes she is," Larxene answered. "You see, the bad guys are holding her captive, somewhere deep inside the castle," she continued. "And you obviously are the hero so you have to go save her," she said. "Although..."

She leaped towards Sora, and kicked him hard in the chest. He was sent flying through the air, and landed on the ground with a THUMP! A charm in the shape of a star fell out of his pocket. "I'm a bad guy, so you have to go through me!" She said.

He looked at the charm. "What's that?" he asked. "Is that thing...mine?" "What a shame!" exclaimed Larxene. "You've been wearing it all this time and forgot? No, that's not possible. I've got it! The memory has to be engraved somewhere deep inside your heart. Sora, you think carefully now. What oh what could it be? And who gave it to you?" she asked.

Sora thought really hard, and pretty soon the name started to come out. "Na...Na..."

Larxene smiled. "Sora, Sora, you're getting it now! Release the memory from within your heart!" She cried.

It actually took Sora a few hours, but he finally got it. "Na...Na...Natalie!" He cried.

"NOOOOO!" They all screamed. "Try again, Sora," said Larxene, who was just about ready to stab herself with her knives.

_After the Fight..._

After battling it out, Larxene stopped. "Hmph. You're not as bad as I though. You really are a hero—a heartless hero!" She taunted. "Who asked you?" shouted Sora.

"Aww, does it hurt because it's the truth? You are just a baby. And, if you're going to be a baby then here you go."

She threw a card at Sora. Sora was prepared this time, but because the card was made of paper, it curved downwards and stabbed Sora in the foot HARD.

"Ouch!" He cried again. Donald and Goofy rolled their eyes and Larxene just teleported away.

_Meeting Vexen..._

In a cloud of darkness, Larxene appeared beside Axel. "Whew! Throwing that battle wore me out!"

"Really?" Asked Axel, "It looked to me like you just plain lost." Larxene sneered. "How dare you! You don't appreciate the nuances of—"

"An ungainly effort," interrupted a voice. Vexen appeared. "Vexen!" Cried Larxene.

"How can you be humbled by someone of such limited significance? You shame the organization!" He exclaimed.

Axel and Larxene were silent for a moment. "Ummm...I didn't quite catch the first part," she mumbled. Vexen sighed. "I said, how can you be humbled by someone of such limited significance," he repeated.

"GAAAHHHHH!" Axel screamed. He clutched his head and sank to his knees. "Too many...big...words...brain can't...process...shutting down..." He passed out.

Vexen shook his head. He soon walked away, muttering, "How on Earth did I get stuck working with these idiots?"

_First Encounter With The Riku Replica..._

As Sora exited the last world (while using the keyblade as a crutch for his injured foot), and entered Castle Oblivion once more, he gasped at what he saw. "You're...Riku!" He exclaimed. He ran towards him. "What are you doing here?" Sora asked.

"Not happy to see me?" questioned Riku Replica. "Let me know if I'm getting in the way, you know, of something that's more important!"

Sora was confused. "Huh? I didn't mean that!" He cried.

"Hmph," went Riku Replica. "Spare the excuses. I bet that you had all but forgotten about me!" He said.

"Are you crazy?" asked Sora. "C'mon, I came all this way looking for you!" "But you're not anymore, right?" Said Riku Replica. "Now it's only Namine that you're looking for. You don't care about me, just like you never cared at all about her feelings."

"Namine's?" Asked Sora.

"I knew it," said Riku Replica. "Never even gave it a thought, did you? Just cuz you want to see Namine—sorry—doesn't go both ways. To tell you the truth, Namine doesn't even want to look at your face!" he said, pointing at Sora.

"But, why doesn't she want to look at my face? Everyone loves my face!" Sora cried. He turned and smiled, and all of the sudden his teeth turned bright white and made a *ping!* sound when they sparkled, and the "light of God" shined down on his face.

"Sora, stop breaking the fourth wall!" shouted Riku Replica.

_Second Encounter With Riku Replica..._

Sora hobbled after Riku Replica **(ugh, I'll just stick with RR)**, until they met up on the next floor.

"Take the hint," grunted RR, "I told you to go home."

"Not until I rescue you and Namine," claimed Sora.

"I don't remember ever asking you to rescue me," said RR, rolling his eyes. Sora ran forward and grabbed RR, holding him close.

"You don't have to ask me. You don't have to say a word," breathed Sora.

RR blushed. "Oh, Sora," he started. Goofy cleared his throat as loud as he could, and Donald rolled his eyes. "Awk-ward," he sang.

Namine walked in and saw the two of them embracing. "SORA HOW COULD YOU?" She screamed, and ran away crying like—well, something that cries.

_What Wasn't Supposed To Be Another Encounter With RR..._.

Sora and the others looked around, expecting to see RR. But he never came. Donald sighed with relief. "Where did Riku go?" he asked Sora.

"Guess he must have gotten tired fighting you," said Goofy.

Sora smiled and folded his hands behind his head. "I sure hope so," he said.

Just then RR come flying out of a dark hole in the wall. "SNEAK ATTACK!" He screamed, lunging at Sora. But, like Vanitas in the earlier chapters, he underestimated the distance, and instead of landing on Sora, he landed on Donald instead.

Marluxia, who was walking by at the time, spotted the two in what he thought was romantic embrace. "DONALD HOW COULD YOU?" He screamed, and ran away crying like Namine.

Everyone stared at Donald.

_Introducing Marluxia..._

Axel, Vexen, and Larxene were all standing around in that white room **(not like there are any other white rooms in that castle)**, having an evil conversation. "So what's going on, Vexen?" asked Larxene. "Your Riku was supposed to counter Sora. What's he waiting for? Where is he?"

"He's waiting somewhere to lure Sora deeper into the castle, right? I suppose we should just leave it at that, you know," said Axel.

Larxene smiled. "Oh, I see now! I would have never guessed that! So sorry, Vexen," she teased.

"Silence!" Yelled Vexen. Larxene crossed her arms. "Predictable response," she said. "Forget it; men without hearts are so boring."

"You're one to talk," said Vexen, "As if you have a heart to speak of yourself."

"That's enough," came a voice. Out of a black portal came a man with a hood over his face. As Marluxia pulled the hood off in a dramatic manner, he also managed to rip off his spiky pink hairpiece with it. Marluxia squealed with fright and tried covering his head before anyone saw, but it was too late.

"AAHH! THE BALD! IT BURNS!" screamed Axel, who passed out again. Larxene was already taking pictures with her phone and sending them to all the other Organization members, and Vexen had already taken the wig and had ran away with it.

Marluxia sighed, picked up his cell phone, and called up Demyx. "Hello?" said Demy in a goofy voice.

"It's me, Marluxia."

"Oh! Hi Marly!"

"I told you never to call me that!"

"Oops, sorry Marly."

"Grrr...never mind. Look, I need you and Roxas to get your butts down to the mall and buy me something to cover up my spot."

"What spot?"

"My...naked spot."

"...(snicker)...(giggle, giggle)...(desperately trying not to laugh)...Sure, dude. Whatever you say."

_Back to Meeting Larxene..._

A few days later, Sora was still lying there on the floor, trying to remember the girl's name. Goofy had fallen asleep, Donald was hitting his head against the wall, and Larxene was filing her nails down to the nub.

Finally, Sora looked up. "I've got it!" he cried.

Everyone quickly snapped to attention. "Yes, Sora, release the memory from within your heart," urged Larxene.

Sora took a deep breath. "Na...Na...Natasha!"

"GAAAHHHHH!" Larxene screamed. Donald and Goofy groaned.

"That's _still_ not her name, Sora!" growled Larxene.

_After The Battle With Vexen..._

Sora somehow managed to defeat Vexen while using the keyblade as a crutch and while wearing an eye patch. Vexen put his shield away.

"As I expected, you weren't one to die very easily," he said.

"As if I'd ever lose to you!" shouted Sora. "I wouldn't be so sure," returned Vexen, "Did you even notice? I was delving deep into your memories as we fought. And here, look what I found. A card crafted from all the memories locked in the other side of your heart."

He held up a card with a picture of Twilight Town, and was just about to throw it to Sora when Sora screamed "WAIT!"

He wasn't about to lose a limb this time. He hobbled over to Vexen, gently took the card out of his hands, and said, "Thank you!"

Vexen continued to stare at Sora with a strange expression.

_The Orders..._

Larxene, Axel, and Marluxia were all gathered around that weird sphere thingy, watching Sora.

Since Demy had misunderstood what Marluxia said, he got him a pair of _pants_ to cover up his "naked spot." However, Marluxia, at an attempt to look less ridiculous, had stuck the waist part on his head, and had wrapped the legs around each other and tied them off at the top.

Three words: Turban with pockets.

"If Vexen doesn't return your, um...hair, wouldn't that be committing treason against the Organization?" asked Axel.

Marluxia nodded. "I trust that you know, what you need to do," he said.

Axel turned around. "Haven't got a clue, really. Maybe you could spell it out for—"

"JUST GET MY HAIR BACK YOU IDIOT!" screamed Marluxia.

Axel quickly teleported away. Marluxia took out his phone again and called up Demyx and Roxas, ordering them to get their butts down to the nearest mall and buy him a _hat_ to cover up his bald spot.

_Vexen's End..._

Vexen sank to his knees, gasping for breath. "You have such strength, even at the mercy of your memory."

"None of that matters! Just put Riku back!" Yelled Sora. Vexen laughed.

"Just put him back? The Riku you speak of has but one fate: to sink into the darkness. And you will share that fate, Sora. If you continue to seek the girl, Namine, the shackles will tighten; you'll lose your heart, and end up becoming Marluxia's pawn!" he screamed.

Sora was confused. "Marluxia? What does Namine have to do with—"

Just then, a flying flaming chakram came flying out of nowhere and knocked down Vexen. Sora turned around. "Axel!" Sora exclaimed.

"Yo, Sora!" called Axel. "Did I catch you at a bad time?" he asked.

Vexen struggled to get up. "Axel, why?" he said.

"I came to stop you from talking too much," said Axel, "By eliminating your existence."

Vexen became instantly afraid. "No! Don't do it!" He yelled.

"We are just Nobodies who have no one to be, yet we still are. But now you can be nothing, instead of just being a Nobody. You're off the hook," he said.

"No! Please don't!" Vexen begged. "I don't want to—"

"Goodbye," said Axel, and snapped his fingers. Nothing happened. Axel tried snapping his fingers again. Still nothing. He even tried licking his fingers, or using his other hand. Absolutely nothing.

Finally Axel got fed up and just started snapping his fingers like a mad man at a jazz concert. He then sighed, and walked away.

Sora burst into flames.

_Axel and Namine..._

Axel walked over to Namine, who was still sitting in her chair. "You're all that he's got left," said Axel. "So then, if you don't stop this, no one will."

Namine gasped. "But I...its too late," she said.

"You shouldn't give up just yet," said Axel. He walked over to the other side of the room and turned his back towards her. "Say Namine, have you noticed? Marluxia doesn't seem to be around," he said slyly.

Namine looked up, confused. "What are you...saying?" she asked.

Axel frowned. "That Marluxia isn't here. What did you think I was saying? What, you looking for some 'deeper meaning' or whatever? Jeez, just stating the facts. Gosh." He walked away.

Namine sighed.

_Seeing Namine..._

"I have to keep her safe! Namine, can you hear me?" shouted Sora, who was still singed from Axel's flames. Namine was standing right behind him. "Namine!" said Sora. He ran towards her.

"Sora, you really came for me," said Namine, touched.

Sora reached out and took her hand. "It's you! It's really you! I've been through so much just to see you," he started.

"Yes, I wanted to see you too," said Namine. "But this isn't right. I messed up. I wanted to see you, but this isn't the right way."

Sora was confused. "Namine...?"

Namine continued. "I was lonely for so long, I just couldn't bear it anymore. So I logged onto eHarmony and made you come all the way out to this place. You came for me and I'm so...so happy, but to your account I had to..."

"Don't worry. I came because I promised that I would—wait a minute, eHarmony?" Sora asked.

Namine nodded. "'Fall in love for all the right reasons,'" she said, quoting the website.

An awkward silence filled the air. A VERY awkward silence. Sora finally cleared his throat.

"But, I don't have an eHarmony account," he said.

Namine gasped. "But—then who is Soralicious329?" she said.

_Somewhere in Castle Oblivion, Goofy had the weirdest feeling that a deep, dark secret of his had been revealed. _

_After Seeing Namine..._

"Namine!" shouted Sora, running to her. "It's not you. The person most special to me...it's not you, right?"

"No," said Namine. "The girl you really care about, the one who was always with you, it's not me. It's her," she said, referring to Kairi.

"But then who is she? Because I can't think of her name. If she's so special to me, then why can't I remember?" He wondered.

"Because," began Namine, "I went into your memories and—"

"Let me explain this!" interrupted RR. He walked in and stood next to Namine. "Plain and simple. Your memory is a train wreck. You're not the one who was meant to protect Namine," he said. He lashed his sword to his right dramatically, but he slashed it too hard and hit Namine in the face.

"Oooff!" she fell to the ground, unconscious. Sora and RR both looked at her. RR's face turned red. "...Actually, I think I am supposed to protect Namine," said Sora, gesturing towards Namine.

_Second Encounter With Larxene..._

"That thing lying there is just a puppet that Vexen made as an experiment. No more than a toy," said Larxene. "It's laughable, really. It called you a fake, but it was a fabrication all along."

"Not Riku? A fake?" Sora asked.

"Fake in every possible way," explained Larxene. "It was only finished recently, how can it remember anything?" She picked up RR by the nape of his neck. "You get it? Its memories with Namine were just planted, not real," she said.

RR popped his head up. "What's happening?" he said, still alive.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed, and threw him against the wall. Only then did he stop moving. Larxene smiled. "See? A toy," she said. Sora was still staring at RR, his mouth wide open.

_Almost the Final Battle With Marluxia..._

Since Marluxia had no respect, Demy and Roxas had gone to the mall and had gotten him a colorful pinwheel hat to cover the baldness.

"You ignorant fool," said Marluxia, the wheel on his hat spinning round and round. "If Namine uses her powers to erase your memory, you'll be nothing but an empty shell. Your heart will no longer be able to feel, or to care. Just like Vexen's pathetic imitation of your Riku," he said, smiling evilly.

"Take another guess!" shouted a familiar voice. In the _very_ far corner of the room, a black hole appeared where RR jumped out. After landing he paused, and then ran to where he was supposed to land.

"It can't be!" shouted Marluxia.

"Riku!" exclaimed Sora.

"No," said RR. "Just an imitation."

Marluxia growled. "You're a shell! A shell that has had everything taken! Everything!"

RR smiled. "Yeah, well at least you didn't take my wallet!" he taunted. Without blinking, Marluxia summoned a dusk, who quickly grabbed RR's wallet and scurried away.

RR paused. He smiled again. "Yeah, well at least you didn't take my home!" he taunted again. Again, Marluxia summoned a dusk, who quickly took the deed to RR's house, and scurried off with it.

RR went silent again, trying to think of something that he couldn't take from him. "But you can never take away my dignity!" he exclaimed proudly. Without even summoning it, a dusk snuck in, and pulled down RR's man skirt.

RR sighed, and shuffled away.

_The Final Battle With Marluxia..._

Sora ran through the door and saw Marluxia floating up in the sky.

"Soon the emptiness will shatter your heart," said Marluxia. "Here in this world of nothingness!" he shouted. He created a great wind that nearly swept Sora off his feet. When he looked up, he saw Marluxia sitting in a giant pink flower, and a large creature extended off of it.

"As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the _ever blooming darkness_!" he yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>That itself is a blooper in its own right. I mean seriously, he's sitting in a flower, "ever <strong>_**blooming**_** darkness." Wow. **

* * *

><p><em>Marluxia's Death...<em>

Even as Marluxia was drowned in his own "ever blooming darkness," **(oh man, gets me every time)**, his pinwheel hat stayed on his head the whole time, and spun wildly in the wind. No justice. At all.

_The Ending..._

Sora headed towards his pod-thingy, ready to fall asleep and get his memory back. Namine stepped forward, and her music started playing.

"All of this may have started with a lie, but I really am glad that I got to meet you, Sora," she said.

"Yeah, me too," said Sora. "When I found you, and even when I remembered your name, I was happy. The way I felt then; that was no lie."

They both stared at each other for a long time. "Goodbye," Namine said, breaking the silence.

"No, not goodbye," said Sora. "When I wake up, I'll find you. And then there will be no lies; we're going to be friends for real. Promise me, Namine."

Namine folded her hands behind her back. "You're going to forget making that promise," she said.

"If the chain of memories fall apart, the links will still be there, right? So the memory of our promise will always be inside me somewhere. I'm sure of it," explained Sora.

"Yeah, you're right!" exclaimed Namine. "Okay, it's a promise!"

"Good," said Sora. "Until later," he said, walking forward. They both linked pinkies, and then Sora waved goodbye and quickly headed toward his pod. He's just awkward that way.

Namine stared at her pinky finger. "A promise...huh," she said, and looked up. The pod was starting to close. "Sora, some of your memories lie deep in the shadows of your heart, and I won't be able to find them. Sorry," she said, blushing.

"My memories—hey, wait a sec—" But the doors snapped shut, and Sora was put to sleep.

_Still Meeting Larxene..._

A few months later, Sora was now in a thinking position, thinking of the mysterious girl's name. As for the others, Goofy was trying to eat his own foot, Donald was trying to strangle himself with a long piece of string that he found, and Larxene was starting to get a 5 o'clock shadow.

Sora's eye twitched, and he sat up. "I-I've got it!" he cried, laughing hysterically. Everyone's faces lit up with hope, and they all leaned forward.

Sora took a deep breath, licked his lips, and spoke. "Na...NADINE!" he shouted.

Silence.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed. Donald grabbed the rope and tried jumping on Sora to strangle him instead, but Goofy held him back.

Larxene took deep, deep breaths. "NAMINE!" she screamed. "HER NAME IS NAMINE!" She grabbed Sora by the shoulders and started shaking him.

"NOT NATALIE, NOT NATASHA, NOT NADINE, ITS NAMINE!" She slowly put him down.

Sora looked confused. "But...what kind of name is Namine?" he said.

Everyone facepalmed.

* * *

><p><strong>Jeez, that was my longest yet. Personally, not my best work, but please enjoy! (Sorry I took so long.)<strong>

**Thanks again to the people who reviewed and gave me ideas. (Thank you Julia!) **

**I have no idea where the SoRiku moment came from. I don't even like SoRiku! (But I kind of liked the whole Marlonald/MarluxiaxDonald thing)**

**And if there is anyone out there who has an eHarmony account or any account that has the name Soralicious329, then I'm sorry I got you involved. Completely coincidental. **

**Anyway, I've decided to split up ReCoM into two parts. Next up, Reverse/Rebirth! **

**Please comment and rate!**


	5. KH ReCoM: Pt 2

**Okay, let's get this over with—I mean, let's get this show on the road!**

**Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories: Reverse/Rebirth. It's where grown men get trumped by Mickey Mouse, the main character has no friends, and they use the word DARKNESS every other sentence. Not joking. **

**Disclaimer: (why do I even bother?)**

**Warning: SPOILERS, SPOILERS, aww, just forget it...**

* * *

><p><span>Kingdom Hearts Re: CoM – ReverseRebirth

_The Beginning..._

Riku lay floating in the space between light and dark, unable to see what was before him. He slowly started to open his eyes. "Where am I?" he said.

"Stay asleep," a mysterious voice commanded. "Okay," said Riku. He closed his eyes again and fell back asleep.

"Good," said the voice. In the background, Riku could hear him turn on the TV. It was a 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' marathon.

Riku sat up straight. "Who's there?" he asked.

"You should remain asleep," said the voice. "Here, between light and DARKNESS!"

"Between what?" asked Riku. He gasped. "The King! Where's the King? Together we closed the door to darkness. After that...?"

"You came drifting here by yourself. You did not have the strength to overcome the DARKNESS! Or, maybe you were close to it," said the voice.

"Hmph, as if I'm some kind of demon!" spat Riku.

The voice chuckled. "Turn from the light. Shut your eyes. Here, blanketed by the DARKNESS!, sleep is safety. Sleep is eternal. But..."

A card magically appeared in front of Riku. "What's this?" said Riku.

"It's a Jacuzzi—IT'S A CARD, YOU TWIT! God, how did I get stuck working with these people?"

_The Introduction of Two... _

Zexion stood in the castle basement, in his logical pose. Lexaeus teleported next to him, without saying anything.

"Don't I even warrant a hello, Lexaeus?" he asked. Vexen also teleported beside them,

"What is going on here Zexion? I want an explanation," demanded Vexen.

"Nice to see you too, Vexen," said Zexion. "It's such a shame. The Organization used to be a rope that bound us together."

"You're only Number 6! How dare you—"

"Let it go, Vexen," said Lexaeus. Vexen became silent. Lexaeus turned to Zexion. "Zexion, tell us: What did you detect?" he asked.

"Visitors," said Zexion. "I picked up two scents in the castle's lowest basement. One of them was Maleficent."

"Don't be absurd! The witch is gone! She cannot return from the realm of darkness, of her own volition!" said Vexen.

"If you would let me finish," said Zexion, annoyed. "The scent belonged not to the real Maleficent, but to a very convincing double. But I truly cannot say much beyond that since the double is no more. Our other visitor saw to that."

"And who is it?" asked Lexaeus.

"A girlscout, one whose scent is very similar to that of the Superior," said Zexion.

"A girlscout? How the Kingdom Hearts did she get here?" asked Vexen.

"She carpooled," Zexion replied.

Vexen stroked his imaginary beard. "This truly piques my curiosity," he said.

Zexion shrugged. "Now, what to do?" he asked.

Everyone looked towards Lexaeus, for even though he was not very smart, he was the biggest, which made him the scariest, which made him the leader, sort of.

After a silence, Lexaeus spoke. "We'll get two boxes of Thin Mints, and then wait. See what develops," he said.

"But I hate Thin Mints," said Zexion, frowning.

Lexaeus sighed. "Fine, then what do you want?" he asked.

Zexion smiled. "Well, I do love Samoas Caramel deLites," he said, licking his lips. "What about you, Vexen?

Vexen giggled. "Oh, I don't think so. I am trying to watch my waistline," he said, patting his stomach. "Although, I do love those ummm...oh, what are they called...?"

"Tagalongs?" said Lexaeus.

Vexen smiled. "Yes, those are the ones! Fine, I'll take 4 boxes of those," he said.

Zexion nodded. "So, we'll have 2 boxes of Thin Mints, 4 boxes of Samoas, and 4 boxes of Tagalongs, right?"

"But what about the Superior?" asked Lexaeus.

"Oh that's right!" exclaimed Vexen. "He does love those Lemon Chalet Crèmes. He would be crushed if we didn't buy him some."

Zexion groaned. "Okay, fine! We'll get 2 boxes of Thin Mints, 4 boxes of Samoas, 4 boxes of Tagalongs, and 12 boxes of Lemon Chalet Crèmes. That good?"

Lexaeus and Vexen nodded.

_A Little Bit After That..._

Riku was walking through Castle Oblivion when he smelled something familiar.

"Something smells funny," said Riku. "What's that scent? It's so familiar..."

He gasped. "Darkness...it's the smell of darkness. I can't believe this is happening. The darkness even seeped into my skin.

"Don't worry Riku!" shouted a light coming down from the ceiling.

"Riku looked up. "You're Majesty!" he cried. The light came down in front of him and slowly transformed into King Mickey, or at least an illusion of King Mickey.

Riku smiled, and then gasped. "What happened? I can see right through you," he said, looking through the king.

King Mickey started to cry. "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" he ran away crying.

Riku shrugged and continued onward.

_After Defeating Vexen..._

Riku leaped through the air and slashed at Vexen, only to smash his sword into his shield. Vexen laughed maliciously.

"I find coursing through you that there is a darkness of formidable power growing. Well worth the trouble of aggravating you. All of this excitement has provided me with invaluable data."

He pushed Riku away. "Many thanks, Riku!" called Vexen, and he vanished.

Riku growled. "It was a trick all along," he said.

"NO DUH?" called Ansem sarcastically.

_Meeting His Double..._

Riku had just left the last world when he saw something unbelievable. "What are you supposed be?" he said.

"Surprised?" asked Riku Replica, "I guess you should be. After all, I look just like you."

Riku stared at the Riku Replica. "I'll tell you what I am," said Riku Replica. "I'm an exact replica of you that Vexen made from your data."

"So you're a fake me," said the real Riku.

"Not a fake!" yelled RR. "I don't care if you're real! You're not better! We share the same body and the same talents. But, there is one way to tell us apart, though."

Riku was clueless. He raised one eyebrow and cocked his head.

Since Riku didn't guess, RR continued on. "Unlike you, I have a birthmark shaped like Sarah Palin on my—"

"RIKU!"

Riku Replica turned to see Larxene standing at the top of the staircase—and boy was she _mad_.

"Oh dear God," prayed Riku Replica. He must've forgotten to return her hair gel back where he found it.

"WHERE IS IT?" she screamed. She took out her knives and chased after him, all the way down to the first floor. His cries for help could be heard all the way from San Francisco.

_After the Battle With Riku Replica..._

Riku Replica sat on the floor, out of breath. "Hey, fake!" called Riku. "I thought you said you were going to wipe the floor with me!"

"Don't forget I'm still new. I'll get stronger and stronger," said RR. "The next time we fight, you're finished!"

"Then let's fight NOW!" yelled Riku. He lunged towards Riku Replica, but got knocked back by some invisible force field.

Riku Replica laughed. "It's nice having darkness on my side," he said. "You are so missing out. How could you be scared of something that can be so thrilling?"

King Mickey's light came down from the ceiling again. "Because it's illegal!" he cried. His light slowly transformed into his true form.

"You should never do drugs! Scandals like that can send you to jail, and ruin your life! And you should never talk others into doing it, either! Peer pressure is wrong!"

King Mickey turned to Riku. "And shame on you for hanging out with this kind of people! Don't you know that marijuana is wrong?" he said.

Riku tried to object. "But your majesty, we weren't—"

"Save it Riku," said King Mickey. The king turned to Riku Replica. "EAT METAL, CRACKPOT!" he shouted. The king jumped on Riku Replica and started thwacking him with his metal keyblade.

_An Encounter With Ansem..._

Riku ran after his replica. "Come out! Show yourself, fake!" he yelled.

An ominous voice answered back. "Fake? Oh no. That's not exactly the right word." Ansem appeared in front of him.

"What are you saying?" said Riku. "Isn't he just a copy of me?"

"More like a model—"

"OMG! Like Tyra Banks? Or Willa Holland?" Riku said, suddenly very excited.

Ansem facepalmed. "No! Not like—ugh, never mind!" He disappeared before Riku could make any more stupid assumptions.

_Fighting Lexaeus...Sort of..._

Riku was just opening the door into the Castle Oblivion hallway when he saw Lexaeus standing there, waiting for him. "That scent...you're another one of those Nobodies," observed Riku.

"You've done well thus far," said Lexaeus. "But to possess your powers and yet fear the darkness, what a waste."

"I do not fear it!" shouted Riku.

"I sense that you do," said Lexaeus. "You're also capable of controlling the darkness. Cast away your useless fear. Open your heart. Embrace the darkness."

"And if I say no?"

"Then we'll throw in a free car as an added bonus," he said, pointing towards a sleek black porche that was somehow hidden from view before. The license plate spelled DRKNESS.

"Ooh!" exclaimed Riku. He jumped in the car and looked at all the controls. "The seats are so comfortable!"

"They are made from the finest leather, imported all the way from the Pride Lands," said Lexaeus.

"And there are cup holders, too?" said Riku.

Lexaeus nodded.

Riku sighed. "Well, I'll have to think about it," he said shrugging.

"I understand," said Lexaeus.

_Inside Riku's Heart..._

Riku lay unconscious, in what seemed to be pitch black nothingness.

"I see you now...clearly," came Ansem's voice.

Riku sat up straight. "Lexaeus?" he shouted, unaware of Lexaeus' end.

"Riku...I can see your heart," called Ansem again.

Riku looked around. "What?"

"That's not the only thing I'm seeing..."

Riku looked down—and noticed that he was naked. _Very_ naked. _In the nude_. Riku screamed like a little girl in a 1950's horror film, and looked around for something to cover himself with.

Nothing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Riku screamed.

"MWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAAAA!" laughed Ansem.

_Zexion and Axel..._

"Lexaeus is gone as well..." murmured Zexion. Now he was all alone.

Axel appeared next to him. "Vexen, Larxene, Lexaeus, I wonder who's next in line," he said.

"I thought perhaps it might be you," said Zexion.

"Me? No way! I already took my pounding from Sora. He thinks I'm gone for good," he said, turning away from Zexion. "Nope, I think it'll be Marluxia next; for defying the Organization and targeting Sora."

"Wanna bet?" asked Zexion. Axel turned towards him. "4,000 munny says that you'll be the next one to go," he said.

"4,000 munny says it'll be Marluxia next," said Axel, accepting the bet.

Just then, a large explosion was felt all throughout the castle. A dark scent went out as well. Marluxia's scent.

Axel held out his hand. "Ha! Pay up!" he grinned.

Not actually having 4,000 munny with him at the current time, (Luxord had drained him dry), he quickly disappeared into another room.

As Riku was walking through Castle Oblivion, Zexion soon appeared in front of him, and he looked very out of breathe. "The keeper of this castle, Marluxia, has just been felled by the keyblade master," he said, hoping Axel wouldn't find him here.

"Keyblade..." said Riku, trying to remember if he knew anyone with a keyblade. It suddenly hit him. "You mean Sora! Sora is here?" he asked.

Axel suddenly appeared. "There you are!" he shouted at Zexion. He started chasing Zexion around the room. "Where's my munny, cheapskate?" he screamed.

"I don't actually have 4,000 munny!" Zexion screamed back. He threw the card at Riku, yelling, "If you do not believe the words I say, then you best see them with your own eyes!"

Axel threw a flaming chakram at him and set Zexion's butt on fire.

_After defeating the Giant Shadow Heartless..._

Riku, out of breathe, looked around after defeating the Giant Shadow Heartless. "Okay, I have to keep him safe. Zexion, can you hear me?" He turned around and saw Zexion. "Zexion!" he cried.

Riku ran towards him. "Riku, you really came for me," Zexion said, touched.

Riku took his hand. "It's you! It's really you! I've been through so much just to see you!" he said.

"Yes, I wanted to see you, too. But this isn't right. I messed up. I wanted to see you, but this isn't the right way," said Zexion.

"Zexy...?"

"I was lonely for so long, I just couldn't bare it anymore. So I—waaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiittt, this isn't right," he said.

They both pulled away from each other, disgusted, and tried to remember what they were actually supposed to do.

_The Death of Zexion...Sort of..._

Zexion appeared again in the castle basement. He hit the wall with his fist. "What is he? No one's ever worn the darkness the way he does. It's impossible!"

Suddenly, Axel and Riku Replica appeared. Zexion gasped. After realizing that it wasn't the real Riku, he calmed down. "Ah, yes. The replica, of course! We can use this Riku to defeat the real one," he said.

Axel was being strangely silent. "Axel?" said Zexion worriedly.

"Wouldn't you like to be real?" said Axel to the replica. "All you need is the kind of power that the real Riku doesn't have. If you can get that, you can be a new person. Not Riku, nor anybody else. You won't just be a copy of someone, you can be unique. Your own self."

Riku Replica looked interested.

"Axel, what are you saying to him?" exclaimed Zexion.

"You know, he's as good a place to start as any," he said.

"You can't do this!" screamed Zexion. Just then, Riku Replica ran up, grabbed Zexion by the neck, hoisted him upwards—and took the 5-hour energy bottle out of Zexion's pocket.

"No, please! Not my 5-hour energy! I need that!" he said.

Riku Replica drank the whole thing in one gulp.

"Noooo..." Zexion sank to the floor in defeat.

_King Mickey Arrives..._

"Riku...Riku," called a voice.

Riku freaked out. "Who's there?" he yelled.

"It's the deep, mysterious, sensuous floating voice calling your name. WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?"

"...Kairi?"

"Wha—no! It is absolutely not Kairi! It's me! Ansem! Forever yours, Seeker of DARKNESS!"

"Oh...Hi Ansem!" shouted Riku.

Ansem sighed, and continued. "I know you can feel it...the grip that I have on your heart."

Riku put his hand to his chest. Indeed, he could feel his grip, and it was tight, too.

"You have let in the DARKNESS!, Riku. That means, very soon your heart, shall be an all-consuming DARKNESS!." Said Ansem.

"I'm not like that now!" shouted Riku.

"Yes you are," argued Ansem.

In a flash of DARKNESS!, Riku was suddenly frozen with his arms stretched outward. "Can't...move..." murmured Riku.

DARKNESS! started flowing out of Riku's body. "The deeper the DARKNESS! runs inside you, the stronger I become."

The King's light suddenly appeared, and flew into Riku's heart. A flash of light appeared. "Grrr...must you interfere again?" shouted Ansem.

* * *

><p><strong>Hehehe...the creeper is no match for the mouse wielding a giant house key!<strong>

* * *

><p>Ansem disappeared, and Riku was finally able to move again. "Whew, sure glad I made it in time. That ought to keep Ansem busy for a while!" came a familiar voice.<p>

Riku turned around and saw King Mickey standing there. "Huh?" he said, surprised.

The king walked over. "Sorry I couldn't come here sooner, Riku. There was traffic on the highway, then I needed an ice coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, then some random guy flipped me off when I drove through a cross walk, so I tried running the guy over, but a policeman saw me and put me in a special—Riku?"

Riku was staring at King Mickey with wide eyes, and he wasn't saying anything.

"Ummm...Riku?"

"..."

"Riku?"

"..."

"Ri—"

"A MOUSE!" Riku screamed, and whipped out his Soul Eater.

"No, wait! Riku, it's me! King Mick—AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Riku slashed at him with his sword and sent him flying down the staircase, then continued walking.

_Entering Twilight Town..._

Riku entered Twilight Town and looked around. "Where am I? What is this place?" he asked. Suddenly realizing that he was alone, he gasped and looked around. "Your majesty?" he called, but the tiny king was nowhere to be found.

Just then, Ansem appeared. "You must fight me all alone," he said. "Against my dark powers!"

They both got into their funky battle stances, but Riku suddenly put his sword down.

"What's this? Are you giving up? Finally ready to surrender to your fate?" said Ansem.

"You're not the true Ansem," said Riku. Ansem gasped. "Your scent is different. The Ansem in my heart smells darker. The odor is more foul. But, your scent isn't that. It's not darkness; it's something else."

"Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash: Pink Grapefruit," mumbled "Ansem."

"I finally understand. You're the one who guided me when it started. You came to me pretending to be Ansem. You gave me the card to make me face the darkness," he said.

"Ansem" smiled. "Hmph, that is correct," he said. In a flash of light he suddenly transformed into his true form. The Twilight Town theme started playing _really_ loudly.

"DiZ, or so I am known," he said, introducing himself in a deeper voice. "You, I've watched you all along."

"Really," said Riku. "Who are you? And what do you want from me?"

"For you to choose," said DiZ.

"Choose?" said Riku.

"You are a special entity. You exist between light and—OH WOULD YOU SHUT UP?" DiZ screamed at the sky. The music stopped playing. DiZ cleared his throat. "That's better," he said.

Riku continued to look up at the sky, confused.

_Second Encounter With Riku Replica..._

Riku walked towards the old mansion with wonder. "Maybe Namine is here," he said.

"Hold it!" shouted a voice.

Riku turned around and saw Riku Replica standing behind him. He started walking towards him.

"Hmph. You've changed. Your own darkness; it doesn't frighten you anymore," said Riku Replica.

"How can you tell?" said Riku.

"Because I'm you," he said.

"No, I'm me!" Riku argued.

"'I'm me' he says," said Riku Replica. "Must be nice being real. A fake like me could never get away with saying that."

Riku Replica suddenly exploded. **(Not literally, folks. That would be disgusting.)** "That's right! I'm a phony! A fake! The way I look, the way I feel, everything I remember. And even this new found power!"

Riku Replica glowed from the power that the 5-Hour energy drink had given him. Riku gasped.

"I thought that by finding some new strength, I could finally be someone. Someone that's not at all you! But nothing changes—"

"Ahem!"

Riku and Riku Replica turned around to see some random old lady walking around, carrying a bunch of books.

"Keep your voices down when you're in the library! There are other folks trying to read, you know. Hehehe!" Her eye twitched, and then she hobbled away.

Riku and Riku Replica continued to stare at her with bewildered expressions, and then they continued with their fight.

_Meeting Namine..._

After explaining to Riku why Sora was asleep, Riku repeated what she just told him. "So, Sora chose to forget about this castle, and get his old memory back?" asked Riku.

"You have a choice to make, too," said Namine.

Riku was puzzled. "Why me, too? No one's messed with my memories," he said.

"It's not your memories, it's your darkness," said Namine. "In your heart there is darkness, and in that darkness is Ansem. He may be at bay now, but eventually he will awake, and take over you exactly like he did before. But I have powers you can use. With my powers, I can put a tight lock on your heart. That way, Ansem could never come out from inside you."

"What happens to me if I let you do that?" asked Riku. "Will I forget everything like Sora?"

Namine did not answer. "I'll have to," said Riku.

"The darkness within you will be sealed tight just like your memory," she said. "You'll stop remembering the darkness. You'll go back to how you were. Riku, please choose."

Riku looked up at Sora, and then looked down at Namine. After giving it some thought, he finally decided. "I want you to put a lock on my heart," he said, proud of his choice.

"WRONG ANSWER!" shouted Namine. Out of nowhere, she pulled out a red button, pressed it, and the floor below Riku collapsed.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Riku fell about 20 feet and landed with a CRASH!

After a silence, Riku finally answered. "...Fine! I'll defeat Ansem, and get my heart back," he said.

_Before the Final Battle..._

Riku and King Mickey stood before the staircase leading up to the door that lead into the final world that lead to the final battle.

"He said this card will draw Ansem out," said Riku, looking at the card that DiZ gave him.

"Don't worry!" said King Mickey. "We can defeat him together!"

"Sorry," said Riku. "I gotta face him alone."

"But why?" exclaimed Mickey.

"There's no point in doing this if I can't do it on my own," said Riku, being all manly. "But I do need a favor. If Ansem is the victor—"

"Ansem's name is Victor?" asked Mickey.

"N-no, his name's not Victor! I was just saying—"

"Of course I always thought of him as a Jeremy, or Julian, James...

"But your majesty—"

"Jeremiah, Jacob, Jimmy, he just seems like the kind of guy who would have a name starting with the letter 'j'. Although I guess Tim works too..."

"Your majesty, please! All I was saying was that Ansem might enslave me!"

"Oh...well that's not good," said the king.

_Still Before the Final Battle..._

Ansem appeared before Riku. "I have watched you fight. I know your strength. Your skill with DARKNESS! has grown. It has become more mature," he said. "And yet why? Why do you accept the DARKNESS!, but still refuse me? You and I share the same hobbies, the same talents, and we both love the song, 'Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry. Indeed we are the same, so why? Does some part of your heart still have a fear of commitment?"

"That's not it. The truth is..." Riku took out Soul Eater. "You're just not my type!"

"You are a fool! You should be missing our relationship well by now!" said Ansem.

"Yeah, I know," said Riku. "Or did you forget? I took everything you had to give, and we still had to live with your mother! I'm not at all missing our relationship!"

"Very well," said Ansem. "In that case..." He spread DARKNESS! all around the room. "You shall sink into the abyss!" And the final battle commenced.

_The End..._

Riku and King Mickey we walking down the road outside, wearing their new Organization garb. DiZ stood before them.

Riku frowned. "What are you making me choose now?" he asked.

"Between the road to light," said DiZ, motioning towards the road to the left. "And the road to darkness," he said, motioning towards the road to the right.

"Neither suits me," said Riku, and to the King's and to DiZ's surprise, he walked straight ahead. "I'm taking the middle road," he said.

"You choose to take the twilight road to nightfall?" asked DiZ.

Riku turned around, and was just about to say something when the ending credits started rolling, and the song 'Simple and Clean' started playing.

"_When you walk away, you don't hear me say, pleeeeeeaaaaaasssss—"_

"WAIT!" shouted Riku. Utada Hikaru stopped singing, and the credits paused. "What about my catchy 'road to dawn' phrase?" he shouted.

"Oh..." said King Mickey, DiZ, and Hikaru.

* * *

><p><strong>Basically, yeah, that's it! Hope you all enjoyed it! Now Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories is OVER, and we can all get on with our lives. <strong>

**Did you notice how every time Ansem said "darkness" I put it like, "DARKNESS!"? I thought that was pretty good...**

**Anyway, please feel free to post comments and suggestions! You people didn't put ANYTHING for my last chapter! Is it soooo hard to post a comment?**

**Next up, Re: Coded!**


	6. KH Re:Coded

**Back again, only this time I have bloopers for Re: Coded! Keep in mind: I am a lazy butt, so I am really only going to do bloopers for the cutscenes of this game, cuz it's not worth watching the playthrough **_**again**_**. **

**Re: Coded: the game that brought back memories of Inception, or the Matrix. C'mon, we were all thinking it! **

**By the way, I forgot to give credit to a star-shaped fruit27, for giving me their ideas. Thank you! Sorry I forgot!**

**WARNING: There are spoilers to Kingdom Hearts Re: Coded and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. You have been warned. **

* * *

><p><span>Kingdom Hearts Re: Coded<span>

_A Mysterious Message..._

After finding a mysterious message in the journal, Jiminy Cricket rushed to the king to ask for his advice.

"A mysterious message," said Mickey.

"Yup," said Jiminy. "I certainly didn't write it. And of course you know that I never let the journal out of my sight. I don't know when anybody would've had a chance to..."

He trailed off. "Hmmmm..." said the King. "Their hurting will be mended. Gosh, Jiminy. Sounds like somebody needs help, and doesn't know what to do. Let's get to the bottom of this."

"Of course," said Jiminy. "But how?" he asked. "All of the other pages are completely blank."

"Sure, the words you wrote are gone, but that doesn't mean that the journal is empty," said King Mickey.

A few minutes later, Chip, Dale, Goofy, and Donald had all gathered into the room. Chip and Dale were scurrying all across the king's desk. "Do you know what they're up to?" Donald asked Goofy.

"No," said Goofy.

"Your majesty!" shouted Chip. "Everything's ready!"

"Your majesty!" shouted Dale. "What Chipper said!"

Chip jumped on a large button on the king's desk, and a large thingymabobber appeared. It consisted of a lever, and a tube in which the journal was being held in.

Chip jumped up, pulled down the lever, and a beam of light appeared inside the tube. It shot down and hit the journal, causing it to burst into flames.

Then it exploded.

Then the ashes disintegrated.

Then the tube broke.

"Wha—what did _that_ prove?" asked Jiminy, who was still in shock.

The king was silent for a moment. He seemed to be analyzing something. "...Yup! That journal definitely contained valuable information. I could tell by the way it blew up and faded away," he said, pretty proud of himself.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, instead of going 'WHOOOOSH! BOOM! CRACKLE!', it kind of did more of a 'WHOOOSH! BURN! BOOOOOOOM! CRACKLE! SIZZLE! EXPLOOOOOSIOOOONNN!'." Said the king, using hand gestures as he went.

"Oh dear," muttered Jiminy.

_Meeting Data-Sora..._

In his dream, Data-Sora was choosing the power of the warrior, and giving up the power of the guardian, when all of the sudden he saw a strange man in a black coat.

"Who are you?" asked Data-Sora. The stranger did not answer. Instead, he walked away.

"Hey!" shouted Mickey from above. "Can you hear me? You have to go after him!"

"Gahh!" shouted Data-Sora. "Wh-Who's there?" he asked, frightened by the fact that a voice was telling him what to do.

"It doesn't matter! I just need you to go after that guy! It's very important that you do!"

"...Is this God?"

"Ugh...no, this is your old friend, King Mickey!" said the King, who was started to get a little aggravated.

"How do I know we're friends? For all I know, you could be trying to rob me!" shouted Data-Sora.

The king sighed. "Would a robber know that you have a tattoo of Kairi's name on your arm?"

"Or that you cried when Bailey died in 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants'?" said Goofy.

"Or that your belly button is neither outy _nor_ inny?" said Donald.

Data-Sora was silent for a moment. "Sure...okay, I believe you guys," he said, hoping that nobody else had heard them list off the embarrassing facts.

_Unwritten Record..._

A new message in the journal had popped up on the screen, and so had a video. _There are more hurts than the one you have just undone._

In the video, Riku was walking across the island, or at least what was left of the island. The rest had been swallowed up by the darkness.

Just before Riku would be swallowed up as well, a man in a black hood appeared. By raising his hand, he opened a portal of darkness for Riku to escape.

The video ended.

"Gee, now that can't be right," said Jiminy. "If the data was repaired, we should be seeing things that were written inside the journal, right? But what we just saw, that never happened. Or at least I never wrote it down."

"You mean, you forgot to write this down?" asked Donald, horrified.

"But-but I never saw this! This couldn't have happened!" exclaimed Jiminy.

"Oh suuuuure, riiiiiiiight. So I suppose that this just happened when you 'weren't there' and you 'couldn't have written it down', right?" said the King, mockingly.

"You're majesty, I—"

"Say no more, peasant! To the dungeon!" screamed King Mickey.

"But—"

"TO THE DUNGEON!" screamed the king.

As Jiminy was walking out of the room, he turned around to say something, but was interrupted.

"DUNGEON!" interrupted the king.

Jiminy left the room to head down to the DUNGEON!. Goofy looked at the king with concern

"But sir, we don't have a dungeon," he said.

The king did not respond.

_Closed Room..._

The red light was flashing again. "It's another new entry!" said Jiminy, who was done spending his time in the "big house."

_There are more hurts than the one you have just undone._

"Hmmmm... it looks to me like a new message gets added every time a world inside the journal's repaired!" exclaimed the king.

"Yeah, just like before," said Donald. A new video had started playing on the screen.

Donald, Goofy, and Sora were all putting their hands in the middle, because they had just become a team. But Pluto had snuck away and was walking up the 3rd district ramp.

At the top, he went through a black portal.

The video ended.

"That's funny," said Donald. "We were there. Was Pluto with us?"

"Well I sure didn't write anything like that in the journal," said Jiminy.

"Hey, do you fellows think that maybe the journal is trying to tell us something?" asked Goofy.

Just then, a group of Heartless appeared in the corner of the room.

"AAAHHH!" screamed Donald and Goofy.

"Heartless?" exclaimed the king.

"Here in the castle? But how?" asked Jiminy.

King Mickey jumped over his desk, summoned his keyblade, and started slashing at all the heartless, while everyone else stood and watched.

"We got to check the rest of the castle now!" shouted King Mickey.

They all rushed towards the door, but the door was stuck! They pushed and pushed, but the door wouldn't budge. "It won't open!" said the king.

They then started to pound the door with their fists, and call for help. "HELP! HELP!" they shouted.

"This is not our day," said Jiminy Cricket.

"Well fellas, I hate to say this, but we're trapped!" said the king.

"We're _what_?" said Donald. Just then, another group of heartless appeared. "I'll take care of them," said Donald.

He marched over, grabbed the heartless by their necks, _opened the door wide open_, and threw them outside. "And stay out!" shouted Donald.

Everyone continued to stare at him. "What?" he said.

_Meeting The Hooded Man..._

"How are we going to find out who he is?" asked Jiminy, who was referring to the hooded man.

"What if he's Organization XIII?" worried Donald.

"Don't worry," said King Mickey. "Sora will catch him. Then we'll know for sure."

Just then, there was a very loud banging on the door. "Who's there?" asked Donald.

"Chip and Dale must've come to rescue us!" said Goofy.

Data-Sora burst through the door. Everyone was silent for a moment, their mouths hanging wide open.

"You're here?" exclaimed Mickey.

"That voice..." said Data-Sora. He put his keyblade away. "Mickey? Is that you?" he asked, not at all weirded out by the fact that he was a giant mouse. He shut the doors. "I was just following that guy, and..." he trailed off.

The screen was slowly changing. "You majesty!" shouted Jiminy. "Look there, on the monitor!"

The king looked at the screen and saw all of them standing there, looking at a screen. Very confusing.

Suddenly, the hooded man appeared in the corner of the room. Everyone screamed. Before they could say anything, his hood was taken away to reveal that the hooded man, was actually Riku!

"Riku?" everyone gasped.

"Sorry, not quite," said Data-Riku. "Much like Sora there, I'm just zeros and ones that look like somebody you know."

Everyone was silent. "Huh?" said Goofy.

"Memories used to fill Jiminy's journal. But when they were pulled apart and then stitched back together, bugs appeared. It was these bugs that kept the book from being completely restored.

"Of all the possible vessels to protect the data, I was chosen from the journal's pages," said Data-Riku. "The full set of memories was transferred inside of me, to shield them from corruption."

Everyone was silent again. They all cocked their heads to the side. They didn't get it.

"So, in a way, what I really am is Jiminy's journal," said Riku, summing it up.

Everyone understood now. "So, you contain everything from Jiminy's journal?" said Donald.

"Yeah, that's right," said Data-Riku.

"And if, say, something happened to you, the memories would be restored to the journal, right?" said Goofy.

"Umm...sure, I guess," said Data-Riku.

They all looked at each other, and looked back at Data-Riku with an expression some would call "evil." I certainly would.

"...GET HIM!" screamed King Mickey. Everyone jumped on Data-Riku and started hitting him with their weapons.

"Guys, Guys! We can sort this out!" screamed Data-Riku.

"I CALL HIS LEGS!" screamed Donald.

They beat the pulp out of him, but the journal still wasn't restored to what it was.

_The Hacker..._

After they were done beating up Data-Riku, and after Data-Riku returned from the hospital, he told them that they were actually inside the Datascape.

Everyone gasped. "The Datascape?" said the king. "You mean, we're in the journal?"

Data-Riku nodded, or at least tried to nod. He was now wearing a neck brace. He reached over with his good arm, (the other one was broken), and pressed a few buttons on the keyboard.

"Your majesty! Your majesty!" they heard Chip shout. "If you can hear us, please say something!" shouted Dale.

"Chip, Dale?" shouted the king. His voice reached the real world.

"We finally got through!" shouted Dale. They started jumping up and down. "The room was empty when we came back, and we've been searching the data for you ever since!" shouted Chip.

"Well if Sora's in here with us," said Goofy, "and Chip and Dale are out there looking in..." he trailed off.

"Then we really are inside the Datascape, just like Riku said!" finished King Mickey. He turned to Data-Riku. "Maybe you can tell us. Is there any way for us to get back home?"

Just then, the screen started flashing bright red, and for the king and his friends inside the Datascape, so was the sky.

"Oh no!" shouted Dale. "Someone's trying to break into the data from the outside!" shouted Chip.

"A hacker!" exclaimed Data-Riku. He wheeled over in front of the keyboard (both of his legs were broken, courtesy of Donald Duck), and started typing madly. "If that's true, then there won't be any way out for you," he said to the king.

Data-Riku looked at the screen, confused. "Who's Marlene Shadowheart?" he asked.

* * *

><p><strong>Mwahahahahahahhahahahahaha! XD<strong>

* * *

><p>"Well, whoever she is, she's hacking into the system, and we've got to stop her!" cried King Mickey.<p>

A few minutes later, Data-Riku was still typing. "Have you found a way to stop the hacker?" asked Donald.

Data-Riku continued typing. "Hang on a sec," he said. He pressed a few more buttons, and then jumped up triumphantly. "Oh, yeah! Who's the man? I'm the man! Who's the—"

"Riku!" shouted Data-Sora.

"Hmm?" asked Data-Riku.

"Did you find a way for Mickey and the others to get back home?" he asked, motioning towards Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Jiminy.

Data-Riku continued to jump around. "What? Oh, of course not! But I just got Final Fantasy Versus XIII on eBay for only 4, 000 munny!" he said, a big grin on his face.

Everyone groaned.

_Somewhere in the world that never was, Axel sat in front of his computer, his face in his hands._ Zexion walked over. "What is the matter, Number 8?" asked Zexion.

Axel looked up. "Oh, hey, Zexy. I just lost Final Fantasy Versus XIII to some whack-job on eBay who bet 4,000 munny," he said sadly.

Zexion shrugged. "Life's not worth living anyways," he said, and walked away, taking his emo-atmosphere with him.

_Maleficent's Evil Plot..._

In Agrabah, Data-Sora was knocked down by Maleficent. His keyblade, however, went flying through the air and landed in the ground next to her.

"Hmm? Isn't that odd?" said Maleficent. Sora gasped as she used her staff to pick up the keyblade.

"A-HA!" she said, and whipped her staff to the left. The keyblade remained floating in midair.

"Eh?" she said, and tried again, this time, whipping her staff to the right.

Still nothing.

Her green face managed to blush and turn a darker green. She started whipping her staff around her madly, so hard that she started to sweat.

Data-Riku appeared, hoping to help his friend, but he teleported to the wrong spot, and landed downwind of the witch's crazy flailing.

She knocked the unsuspecting victim out with her staff.

After a few hours of unsuccessful waving, she stopped. Her dark green face was now a deep purple, and the horns on her head were wilting downwards.

Pete appeared, a few hours late. "Hey, Malefi—whew! You smell terrible, girl! What'd you do?" he asked.

Maleficent glared at him. "Just...get me out of here!" she growled. Pete shrugged, and opened up a portal for her.

He saw the keyblade still floating in the air. "Say, Mally, were you tryin' to—"

"JUST...SHUT...UP!" she screamed.

Pete shrugged, and the two of them left.

* * *

><p><strong>(Hmmm...probably should've called that one "Maleficent Needs to Join a Gym," 'cause it didn't actually explain her evil plot.)<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Saving Data-Riku...<em>

Data-Riku lay on the ground unconscious, with a bunch of bugs sticking out of his body. Data-Sora and the other s stood around him.

"So if I de-bug him," said Data-Sora, "Riku will come back to us."

They all nodded.

Data-Sora gritted his teeth. "Guys," he said. "I got to go inside to look."

Donald gasped. "But what about you?" cried Donald.

"Who's to say if it's even safe inside Riku!" said Goofy. "We don't know what kind of sick, perverted, horrible, gut wrenching stuff is inside of him! You may never come back the same ever again!"

Data-Sora realized this, and had a brief vision of what the inside of Data-Riku could be like. We won't go into that, but let's just say that it was truly terrifying.

Data-Sora shook his head. "...nah, you're right. I'm outta here!" he cried, and bolted from the room.

King Mickey sighed, smiled, and looked at Donald and Goofy. "He's taking it rough," he said, and the others nodded.

_Meeting Mickey For The Second Time..._

Data-Sora woke up in Traverse Town, and came face to face with Pluto. He tried going back to sleep again, but the dog jumped on him again.

"Aagh!" he screamed. He got up and ran after the dog, but Pluto disappeared.

Standing there in front of Sora stood King Mickey, standing in a dramatic pose with his keyblade outstretched.

"Sora," said the king. "This was the day that your journey began. I know because I was here too. It's time for the truth!"

"But, who are you?" asked Sora.

"That's not important. First, I need to fill you in on everything that has happened so far," said the king, who was afraid that what happened last time was going to happen again.

It did.

"Ooh! Are you my fairy godmother?" he asked, hopeful.

The king groaned. "No! I am King Mickey of Disney Castle! I am a friend of yours, from another world," he said, hoping that Data-Sora would understand.

He didn't.

"How do I know that you're telling the truth? For all I know, you could be some kind of thug!" cried Data-Sora.

"Ugh! I don't have time to list the embarrassing facts!" cried the king. "Listen, you are a scrap of data created by Jiminy's journal—"

"Data?" said Data-Sora. He turned around and crossed his arms. "If you were really my friend, you wouldn't say something like _that_!" he said.

The king sighed. "...I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Okay, I accept your apology," said Data-Sora.

(This is going to take a while), thought King Mickey.

_One of Data-Riku's Flashbacks..._

Data-Riku stood on the Neverland clocktower, looking out at the night sky. Kairi sat behind him, unconscious.

Data-Riku reached out his hand, and pretended to snatch the moon right out of the sky. But he accidentally did.

"Oops," he said, and looked down to see that he was still carrying the moon in his hand.

Suddenly, the world that they were on stopped spinning, and slowly started to tilt.

Screams could be heard from below. Kairi woke up, but not before sliding off the tower first. "RIKU YOU IDIOT..." she screamed before falling to her death.

"Double Oops," said Data-Riku, who was having a hard time clinging onto the tilting tower as well.

Eventually, the world tilted completely upside down, and everyone perished.

The end.

Just kidding. ;D

_The End..._

"And, their still connected Sora," said Data-Namine. "Somewhere way down deep inside of you."

"Funny," he said. "I feel as though I've met them."

"You have," said Data-Namine. "Two of them, you have met. As for the third, I never realized it, but you and he share a very special connection."

Data-Sora nodded. "Yeah," he said, seemingly lost in thought.

King Mickey looked at Namine. "Namine," he said. "You said Sora needs to call these memories up to the surface. Is it time?" he asked.

Data-Namine shook her head. "We should probably wait until, y'know, it 'develops' more," she said, raising her eyebrows.

The king nodded. "I understand," he said solemnly.

"Wha-What do you mean?" asked Data-Sora. "Wait till what develops?"

"Oh, nothing," said the king.

"Aw, c'mon, guys! Seriously—"

"_Anyways,_" said Data-Namine.

_My Own Deleted Scene..._

King Mickey was just coming back from the bathroom, when he saw Data-Sora standing in the middle of Traverse Town with one of those _things_.

King Mickey rushed over. "Sora, what is _that_?" he cried.

Data-Sora looked down. He had put one of the bugs on a leash, and was walking it around.

"Oh, hi Mickey!" cried Data-Sora. "Isn't it cute? I just found it over in the 3rd district, and I decided to make it my own!"

King Mickey rubbed his head. "Sora, you can't keep one of those as a pet," he sighed.

"But-But why not?"

"That this is probably what's mucking up Jiminy's journal in the first place!"

Data-Sora smiled. "Oh, he would never do something like that! He's the sweetest little thing!" he cooed. He stroked its head, and it almost seemed to purr.

King Mickey winced. "But...that thing is probably loaded with disease!"

Data-Sora gasped. "Don't you DARE talk to Stuart like that!" he cried.

Silence.

"...You named it...Stuart?" asked the King very slowly.

"Yup!" exclaimed Data-Sora. "And I can also make it do tricks! He can roll over, fetch, and throw up— umm... your majesty?"

By this point, the king had left to go take a stress-free bubble bath.

* * *

><p><strong>Yup! That's it! <strong>

**I want to thank Bond Of Flame08, for giving me ideas, and I hope everyone else enjoyed it! **

**Sorry if the flashback one was a little dark...I don't know where that came from...The world wouldn't actually stop spinning if the moon disappeared. It woudl just be very dark outside, and werewolves like Jacob would be very sad. :(**

**I would have done bloopers for the secret ending, but I couldn't think of anything.**

**Anyway, I think we all know what game I'm doing next...;D**


	7. Kingdom Hearts

**I feel sick...WITH FANFIC FEVAH! *Clears throat.* ...Sorry that I could not control...**

**Anywho, let's get started! Drumroll please? *Random drummer starts drumming***

**I have saved the best for last! Anybody wanna guess? I'll give you some hints:**

***Everyone had short hair and squeaky voices**

***Half of the characters **_**weren't there!**_

***Riku gets POSSESSED!**

**That's right, folks: the original Kingdom Hearts!**

**WARNING: You have been warned.**

* * *

><p><em>The Dream...<em>

Sora looked around. It seemed as if he was standing on a giant mosaic or stained glass or something like that. It was an image of Snow White eating an apple, and the seven dwarfs surrounding her. Somewhere, a choir was singing dramatically.

"So much to do, so little time," called a mysterious voice. "Take your time, don't be afraid. The door is still shut. Now, step forward. Can you do it?"

Sora nodded, and was just about to step forward, when the voice started speaking again.

"Use the left analog stick to move," said the voice. "Tilt it slightly to walk, and harder to run."

Sora was confused. "Left analog stick...?" He shrugged, and stepped forward.

Three pedestals appeared around him. Each one had a different weapon: a sword, a shield, and a staff.

"Power sleeps within you," spoke the voice. "If you give it form, it will give you strength. Choose well."

Sora ran forward, and was about to jump up on the pedestal and grab the sword, when the voice started speaking again.

"Press O to jump," it said. Again, Sora was confused. "What is this, some kind of tutorial?" he cried.

_Somewhere on Earth, a newbie is very thankful that the game came with a built-in tutorial. _

_The Dream Continued..._

Sora opened the door, and walked through. Somehow, he ended up back on his island, with his friends Selphie, Wakka, and Tidus.

"Hold on," said the voice. "The door won't open just yet. First, tell me more about yourself."

Sora smiled. "Well, I love hanging out with my friends, catching fish in the pond nearby, I like swimming, on rainy days I like to bake strudel—"

"That's not what I meant!" shouted the voice. Sora went silent. "I was thinking more along the lines of what's most important to you, what you are so afraid of, and what you want out of life," said the voice.

Sora frowned. "What kind of questions are those?" he asked. The voice sighed, and gave up.

_Waking Up..._

Sora lay asleep under the sun, on his comfortable little island. He slowly opened his eyes, and yawned. He decided to go back to sleep.

He was about to lay down again when a giant face startled him. "Whoa!" he cried. He sat right back up. The face giggled. "Gimme a break, Kairi!" he said.

"Sora, you lazy bum," said Kairi. "I knew I would find you snoozing down here!"

"No! This huge, black THING swallowed me up! I couldn't breath, I couldn't—"

Kairi knocked him on the head. "Ow!" he cried.

"Are you still dreaming?" asked Kairi.

"It wasn't a dream!" argued Sora. "Or was it? I don't know. What was that place? So bizarre..."

"Yeah, sure," said Kairi.

Later that day, Sora told Riku about the same dream. "This huge, black THING swallowed me up!" he said to Riku.

Riku's eyes went wide. "You had another dream about Kairi again?" he asked sympathetically.

Sora nodded.

_Watching the Sunset..._

Sora, Riku, and Kairi all sat together on the trunk of the big palm tree. There was a spectacular view of the sunset.

"So, Kairi's home is out there somewhere, right?" asked Sora.

"Could be," said Riku. "We'll never know by staying here."

"But how far could a raft take us?" he asked again.

"Who knows?" said Riku. "If we have to, we'll think of something else."

"So, suppose you get to another world," said Kairi. She giggled. "What would you do there?" she asked.

Riku thought about it for a moment. "Well, I'd probably stay with my cousin Florence, who lives in the rich part of town. Then I would find myself a job somewhere as a local seamstress, and use the money I earned to open up a nightclub..."

Kairi and Sora were staring at him.

"...and sell burgers, screwdrivers, and sports-tees," said Riku, hoping that his friends would buy it.

They did.

_The Mysterious Man..._

Sora sat in the Secret Spot, carving a picture of him and Kairi, when all of the sudden, he heard something—or someone. "Wh-Who's there?" he asked, frightened.

No answer. Although, there was a very strange beeping noise. Actually, it was more like munching.

"Answer me!" shouted Sora.

"This world has been connected," said the mysterious man.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" said Sora.

"My phone gets great reception on this island," said the mysterious man.

"So, you're from another world—hey, wait a minute! Your phone?"

"I'm playing 'Cut the Rope' on my phone. I've reached the seventh level!" he cried, very excited.

Sora continued carving his picture and let the man play his game.

_Watching the Sunset (With Kairi D: )..._

Sora and Kairi were sitting on the dock, watching the sunset, (which would have been more enjoyable if Kairi hadn't _forced_ Sora to come).

"You know, Riku has changed," said Kairi.

"What do you mean?" asked Sora.

"Well..." Kairi trailed off. She was thinking. **(A rare occurrence, I know.)**

"You okay?" asked Sora.

"Sora, let's take the raft and go—just the two of us!" exclaimed Kairi.

"Huh?"

Kairi giggled. "Just kidding!"

"What's gotten into you?" said Sora. "You're the one that's changed, Kairi!"

"Maybe..." she said. "You know, I was a little afraid at first. But now I'm ready! No matter where I go, or what I see, I know I can always come back here. Right?"

Sora woke up and pretended like he was listening. "Yeah, of course!" he exclaimed.

"That's good," said Kairi. "Sora, don't ever change."

Sora turned to her. "Well, actually, I was thinking about maybe cutting my hair so that it framed my face a bit more, you know—

Kairi gave him _the glare of slow painful death. _

Sora cleared his throat. "B-But I guess not ever changing is good too," he said, smiling.

Kairi's glare melted back into a sweet smile. "Good," she said.

_The Destruction of Destiny Islands..._

Sora ran out to the small islet where Riku was waiting for him. "Where's Kairi?" shouted Sora. "I though she was with you!"

Riku turned to Sora. "The door...has opened..."

Sora was confused. "What?"

Riku continued, "And...they're having...a sale..."

"Riku, this is no time to-REALLY?" he shouted.

Riku nodded. "Hot Topic...20%...off...all purchases..." he was starting to get swallowed up by the darkness.

"Awesome! I'm gonna go tell Kairi!" Sora exclaimed, and dashed off without helping Riku.

_Kairi Disappears..._

Sora ran to their secret spot and saw Kairi standing there. "Kairi!" he yelled.

Kairi turned to him.

"Kairi, you're not going to believe this, but there's a sale at Hot Topic!" shouted Sora.

Kairi looked very ill. "Sora..." she said softly.

All of the sudden, a huge gust of wind came, and swooped Kairi off her feet. Sora covered his eyes, but when he saw Kairi coming towards him, he opened his arms to her.

Unfortunately, Kairi was still solid, so she smashed into Sora.

"Ow! Kairi!" groaned Sora.

"Sorry!" exclaimed Kairi.

_Donald and Goofy in Traverse Town..._

Donald and Goofy stood on the balcony of a large building in Traverse Town, searching for the "key."

Heartless suddenly appeared. "Gosh," said Goofy. "You think these are the Heartless guys?" he asked Donald.

"Let's go get'em, Goofy!" shouted Donald. In the blink of an eye, they were thrown off the side of the building by the same heartless.

Although instead of landing on Sora, they landed on a Large Body, then bounced off its stomach, and smashed face-first into the wall in front of them. Ouch.

_The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship..._

"Sora, go with them," said Squall Leonheart. "Especially if you want to find your friends."

"Yeah, I guess," said Sora, who was being a Negative Nelly at the time. **(Did I just say Negative Nelly?)**

"But you can't come along looking like that, understand?" said Donald. "No frowning, no sad face, okay?" he said.

"Yeah," said Goofy. "You gotta look funny, like us!"

Donald pushed him away. "This boat runs on happy faces," he said.

"Happy?" said Sora.

Everyone watched and waited. After a stretched silence, Sora gave the biggest smile he could. "Like this?" he said, and smiled _really big_. What he didn't know was that he had HUGE hunks of egg salad stuck in his teeth.

In one word: gross.

Everyone looked away, disgusted. "Ugh, never mind," said Donald. Sora stopped smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>A few worlds later...<strong>

* * *

><p><em>An Evil Conversation...<em>

Maleficent and the other villains were gathered together, having an evil conversation.

"What drew the heartless to that world?" asked Jafaar.

"The hunter lured them there," said Maleficent. "It was his lust for power that was the bait. But it seems the bait was too tasty for his own good."

Oogie-Boogie laughed. "Yeah, he got chomped instead!"

"A weak-hearted fool like him stood no chance against the heartless," said Jafaar. "But the boy is a problem. He found one of the keyholes."

"Fear not," said Maleficent. "It will take him ages to find the rest. Besides, he remains blissfully unaware of our other plan." She said.

"Yes," chuckled Ursula the Sea Witch. They all laughed evilly, but the laughter soon died down.

They were all silent for a moment. "So, uh...what is the plan, exactly?" asked Ursula.

Maleficent groaned. "How many times to I have to explain this to you guys?" she complained. She sighed, rubbed her temples, and explained their evil plan once more.

* * *

><p><strong>More worlds later...<strong>

* * *

><p><em>The Mystical House...<em>

Sora and the others had arrived at the Mystical House in Traverse Town. Sora had gone on ahead of his friends and had walked in, when he saw Kairi standing right in front of him.

"There's something about this musty place," she said, walking towards him. "It reminds me of the secret place back home, where we used to scribble on the walls. Remember?" she asked.

Sora reached out. "Kairi?" he asked.

"Sora!" called Goofy. Sora turned around to see Donald and Goofy enter the house, but when he turned back to Kairi, she was gone.

"What's wrong?" asked Goofy, who could always tell when something was wrong.

"I-I thought I just saw Kairi," said Sora. He pointed to where she stood. "I could've sworn she was here a second ago..."

Goofy and Donald started to snicker. "Did-Did you just say that you saw Kairi?" asked Donald, who was desperately trying not to laugh.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Sora. Donald and Goofy were finally able to contain themselves, and looked at each other.

Goofy started to cough. "Crazy!" he said between coughs.

"Huh? Hey, I heard that!" shouted Sora.

"Heard what? I didn't hear anything!" exclaimed Donald. They continued walking without telling Sora anything.

_Riku Turns to the Darkside..._

Riku and Maleficent stood side by side, watching Sora talk with his new friends.

"You see?" said Maleficent. "It's just as I told you. While to toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you.

"You're better off without that wretched boy," said Maleficent. "Now think no more of him and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for—"

"No way! Forget it!" shouted Riku. "There's no way I'm going with you!"

"But Riku," said Maleficent, smiling. "We have cookies."

"I don't care...cookies?" asked Riku, his face suddenly bright. "Exactly, what kind of cookies?" he said.

"Why, your favorite: M&M chocolate chip," she said.

Riku growled. "...Fine, I'll come for the cookies," he said.

* * *

><p><strong>Even more worlds after that...<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Back in Hollow Bastion...<em>

Riku fell to his knees, very out of breath. He had carried Kairi all the way from Neverland to Hollow Bastion, using only dark portals.

"It was reckless to bring her here without at least using a vessel," said Maleficent.

"She's...so heavy..." murmured Riku.

Maleficent nodded. "Hmmm, yes, the girl does need to lay off the Twinkies," she observed.

_Back in Traverse Town..._

Sora, Donald, and Goofy had all gone back to Traverse Town so that Cid could fix up their gummy ship, **(or something like that. Haven't played this game in a while!). **

"Sora!" exclaimed Donald. Sora looked very sad.

"Now, just remember what Donald said to yah: no frowning, no sad faces," said Goofy.

"How can you be so cheerful?" asked Sora. "There's still no sign of your king. Aren't you worried?" he asked.

"Aw, phooey," said Donald.

"The king told us to go find the key bearer, and we found you," said Goofy. "So, as long as we stick together, it'll all turn out okay! You just got to believe in yourself, that's all."

"Just believe," said Sora. He closed his eyes. He could hear Kairi's voice say, "I believe in you!"

Then, in a flash of light, Sora wasn't with his friends anymore. Instead, he was flying towards a star. *FLASHBACK TIME!*

He was suddenly floating in a room, which was at the time, the library in the castle in Radiant Garden. A little Kairi was talking to her grandmother.

"Where am I?" asked Sora.

Kairi's grandmother started to tell a special story. "Long ago, people lived in peace, bathed in the warmth of the light. Everyone loved the light. Then people started to fight for it. They wanted to keep it for themselves. And darkness was born in their hearts. The darkness spread, swallowing the light and many people's hearts. It covered everything, and the world disappeared. But small fragments of light survived, in the hearts of children."

* * *

><p><strong>GAAAHH! This is so long! To sum it up, the old lady says that children rebuilt the world, the door will open, hearts full of light, blahblahblah, you get the jist. <strong>

* * *

><p>"Do you understand, Kairi?" asked Grandma. Kairi wasn't there. "Kairi?" she screamed.<p>

Kairi stood alone in the library, looking around. Sora reached out to her, but she couldn't see him or hear him.

In another flash of light, Sora was back in Traverse Town. "Huh?" said Sora.

"What's the matter?" asked Goofy.

Sora turned to him. "Well, call me crazy, but I just saw Kairi!" shouted Sora.

His friends stared at him.

"No, really! I was standing here with you guys, and then all of the sudden, I was in some library with her. Except, it wasn't her! It was a _younger version_ of her! She started talking about kids saving the light, and...what's the matter with you guys?" said Sora, who realized that his friends were still staring at him.

Donald started to giggle. "Sure, okay! We'll believe you!" he said, not actually believing him.

"But she was really there!" said Sora, who was getting irritated about the fact that every time he gets a supernatural connection with Kairi, his friends make fun of him. "There was an old lady, too!"

Goofy started getting a cough, again. "Mental institution!" he said between coughs.

"Aw, come on, guys!" shouted Sora, but his friends had already started to walk away.

_Entering Hollow Bastion..._

Riku beat down the Beast, and was just about to do worse, when Sora showed up.

"Stop!" he shouted.

"So, you finally made it," said Riku. "About time. I've been waiting for you. We've always been rivals, haven't we? You've always pushed me, as I've always pushed you."

"Riku," started Sora.

"But it all ends here!" shouted Riku. "There can't be two keyblade masters."

"What are you talking about?" asked Sora.

"Let the keyblade choose," said Riku, "its true master!" Riku put up his hand, and somehow, the keyblade was ripped out of Sora's hand. Riku now had the keyblade.

"Maleficent was right," said Riku. "You don't have what it takes to save Kairi. It's up to me. Only the keyblade master can open the secret door—"

They keyblade magically flew out of Riku's hand, and flew into Sora's.

"Huh?" said Riku.

Sora laughed. "Haha! Now I will be the one to open the secret door—"

The keyblade flew out of Sora's hand and back into Riku's.

"What?" shouted Sora.

Then it flew out of Riku's hand, and was placed in Goofy's hand.

"Huh?" exclaimed everyone except Goofy.

Goofy laughed evilly. "Hahaha! What you imbeciles didn't know was that_ I _am the one who is destined to open the secret door, and change the world!" he screamed towards the sky, like a true villain.

"NOOOOO!" everyone screamed. Just then, the Beast woke up, and punched Goofy in the head. Goofy passed out.

"YAAAAYYY!" everyone shouted. They all walked inside, and left Goofy outside.

_But who is the true keyblade master?_

_Confronting Riku..._

Sora and the Beast walked into the room, and were about to fight Riku, Donald, and Goofy, when the Beast saw a heartless that looked like Belle and ran off. **(Some friend **_**he**_** is.)**

"Quit while you can," said Riku, who was now equipped with a fashionable, yet humiliating man skirt.

"No! Not without Kairi!" shouted Sora.

"The darkness will destroy you," said Riku.

"You're wrong, Riku!" replied Sora. "The darkness may destroy my body, but it can't touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends, it will never die!"

"Really? Well, we'll just see about that!" He blasted Dark Firaga at Sora.

Sora was just about to get hit, when Goofy ran to the other side of the room and blocked his attack.

"Sora ain't gonna go anywhere!" shouted Goofy.

"You'd betray your king?" asked Riku.

"Not on your life," said Riku. "But I'm not gonna betray Sora, either, because he's become one of my best buddies after all we've been through together!"

He turned to Donald. "See ya later, Donald! Can you tell the king I'm really sorry?"

"Hold on, Goofy!" shouted Donald. "We'll tell him together!" he ran to Sora and Goofy. "Well, you know, all for one and one for all," he said.

"I guess you're stuck with us, Sora," said Goofy.

"Thanks a lot Donald, Goofy," said Sora.

"How will you fight without a weapon?" asked Riku.

"I know now I don't need the keyblade," said Sora. "I've got a better weapon! My heart!"

"Your heart?" asked Riku. "What good will that weak little thing do for you?"

"Although my heart may be weak," said Sora. "It's not alone. It's grown with each new experience, and it's found a home with all the friends I've made. I've become a part of their heart, just as they've become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then, if they don't forget me, then our hearts will be one! I don't need a weapon. My friends are—"

Riku smashed him down with another Dark Firaga, and knocked him unconscious. Donald and Goofy stared at Sora, then at Riku.

Riku shrugged. "Too easy," he said and walked away, his man skirt swishing behind him.

_Meeting Ansem..._

Sora and the others ran up the long winding staircase that led to the heart of Hollow Bastion. Because of an invisible force field, Goofy was not allowed beyond the stairs.

Sora saw Kairi lying there at the top. "Kairi!" he yelled, and ran to her, and held her in his arms. "Kairi, Kairi, open your eyes!"

"It's no use," said Riku, who was sitting up on a ledge. Except, it wasn't exactly Riku. He sounded different, like it was someone else inside Riku's body. "That girl has lost her heart. She cannot wake up."

Sora put Kairi down. "What? You, you're not Riku," he said to the imitator.

"The keyhole cannot be completed, so long as the last princess of heart still sleeps," said "Riku."

When jumping down from the ledge up above, he became a victim of the gravitational force.

In other words, his man skirt flew off and away. :P

"AAAAAGH!" "Riku" screamed like a little girl, and tried to cover himself.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Sora, Donald, and Goofy. They tried covering their eyes, but the image was burned into their corneas.

Riku's Ansem side started to come out, too.

"I told you the man skirt was a bad idea!" shouted the Ansem part of Riku.

"Oh, shut up!" shouted the Riku side of Riku. Although, since they were both using the same body, it looked like Riku was talking to himself. He was having a bit of a Golem/Sméagol moment.

Finally, he was able to put his man skirt back on, so that nobody else could witness the horror. Kairi woke up. "Wuz happening?" she asked groggily. Everyone was rolling around on the floor, holding there eyes.

"Umm, guys?" she said. Keep in mind: Ansem is the Heartless of the reincarnation of Xehanort. Even though he looks like a young guy, he has the parts of an old geezer. Yuck.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" shouted Goofy. He jumped over the side of the railing.

_During the Battle..._

Sora and Riku/Ansem were battling it out over Kairi's heart. Sora was just about to defeat him, when he tripped over Kairi, who, believe it or not, was still lying there on the floor.

"Oof!" went Sora.

"Ouch!" went Kairi. "Sora!"

"Sorry!" exclaimed Sora.

_After the Battle..._

Riku/Ansem dropped his keyblade, and disappeared. "Riku!" shouted Sora.

"Sora, Sora look!" shouted Donald.

"The...the keyhole!" shouted Goofy.

The keyhole was doing something funky. Sora walked over. He held out his keyblade, but nothing happened.

"It won't work!" shouted Goofy, who was stating the obvious. "The keyhole's not finished yet!"

"What can we do?" asked Sora.

"Maybe, we gotta go wake Kairi up," said Goofy.

"I think you're right," said Sora. He put his hand to his heart. "If we can free her heart..." he shook his head. "But...but how?"

He looked down at Riku/Ansem's unique keyblade, which was lying on the floor. "A keyblade that unlocks people's hearts," said Sora. "I wonder..."

Sora walked towards the keyblade. "Sora?" asked Goofy.

He picked it up. "Sora, hold on!" shouted Goofy.

"No, wait!" shouted Donald.

Sora looked at the keyblade, smiled at his friends, grabbed the blade, and stabbed himself in the chest.

The sword disappeared in a burst of light, and from that light, six other lights came out. They were the hearts of the princesses.

From Sora's heart, one other light came out: it was Kairi's heart. It floated out of him—but didn't return to Kairi.

Because Kairi's heart didn't do what it was supposed to do, Sora didn't disappear. He looked around. "Where did Kairi's heart go?" he asked, considering Kairi wasn't waking up.

Everyone looked around. They couldn't find it anywhere.

Just then, Ansem entered the room. "So, you have awakened at last, prince—where'd she go?" he asked, looking around.

Sora shrugged. "Her heart went somewhere else," he said.

Ansem sighed. "Well, how am I supposed to sink into everlasting DARKNESS! when we don't have the seventh princess' heart?" he asked, a bit pissed off.

So, everyone searched the whole castle, but still couldn't find anything. "Well, gee, I'm not going to search this castle _forever_," said Donald, tapping his foot.

"Jeez, Donald," said Goofy. "You sound like some hormonal teenage girl."

Silence.

_Everyone_ turned to Donald. "That's because he IS a hormonal teenage girl!" shouted Sora.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Donald/Kairi.

"KAIRI!" screamed Sora. He jumped on Donald and started hugging him all over. "I missed you sooooo much!" he said.

Donald pushed him off. "Ugh, you're messing up my feathers!" he/she muttered.

"Yup, that's Kairi all right," said Riku.

"That would explain my sudden urge to go to the mall," said Donald/Kairi.

Ansem gasped. "Did you know that they're having a sale at Hot Topic?" he squealed.

Sora and Donald/Kairi started jumping up and down. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" they both shouted.

Riku threw his hands up. "Then let's all go!" he screamed, and the five of them headed down to Hot Topic, without returning Kairi's heart.

_Giving the Good Luck Charm..._

"Well, let's go!" said Kairi.

"You can't go," said Sora, shaking his head.

"Why not?" said Kairi, who was starting to get testy.

"Because it's way too dangerous," he said, hoping she would buy it. Truth is: she scared the pants off of him.

"Come on Sora, we made it this far by sticking together. You can't go alone!"

"Kairi," began Sora, "even if we're apart, we're not alone anymore. Right?"

"I can't help?" asked Kairi, who was now using the _pout of adorable cuteness._

Sora chuckled. "You'd kind of be in my way," he said.

Kairi giggled. **(Why are you giggling, Kairi? That boy just insulted you! He called you weak! Are you going to take that?) **"Okay, you win," she said, completely ignoring my advice.

She handed him a star made out of sea shells and other shtuff. "Take this," she said, her voice sweet as sugar.

Her bipolar attitude changed. "It's my lucky charm, be sure to bring it back to me!" she said with attitude, her hands on her hips.

"Don't worry, I will," said Sora. He closed his hand around the lucky charm, and heard an evidential CRUNCH!

Sora and Kairi were both silent for a moment. Kairi's face was very slowly molding into the _glare of slow painful death._

Sora, wide eyed, slowly opened his hand. Her good luck charm was completely destroyed.

Kairi screamed, "I'M GONNA _KILL_ YOU!" she chased him all the way down to the first district in Traverse Town.

The rest involved a Gustav Gun, a looong piece of driftwood, a paring knife, and a jar of peanut butter.

One Moogle was a witness to the catastrophe. "It was horrible, kupo," he said.

_Final Battle..._

Sora and the others walked through the door—and ended up on what looked like Destiny Islands.

"Is this...is this my island?" asked Sora. He walked over to the secret spot, and was just about to go inside, when a mysterious voice spoke.

"This world has been connected," it said. The small islet next to the island suddenly disappeared.

"What was that?" asked Goofy.

"Tied to the darkness. Soon to be completely eclipsed." The island was slowly starting to disappear.

"There is so many much to learn. You understand so little."

The ocean suddenly turned a deep purple. "GRAPE SODA OCEAN!" shouted Sora, his hands up in the air.

"Wha-No! No, that is not a grape soda ocean! It is the color of DARKNESS!" screamed the voice.

Sora was disappointed.

_Final Battle Continued..._

"It is futile," said Ansem, who was now really pooped from all the fighting. "The keyblade alone cannot seal the door to DAKNESS!."

He turned to the door. "Kingdom Hearts! Fill me with the power of DARKNESS!"

DARKNESS! started oozing out of Kingdom Hearts. An insane meat-organ was playing in the background.

"Supreme DARKNESS!" he cried.

"You're wrong!" yelled Sora. "I know now, without a doubt, Kingdom Hearts, is a popular Japanese video game for everyone ten and up!" he shouted.

Everyone went silent.

"...which in turn, fills it with LIGHT!" shouted Sora. Light flooded out of the door, and drowned poor Ansem.

_The Semi-End..._

Sora, Donald, and Goofy were pushing the door to darkness closed, or at least trying to. The door wouldn't move.

Goofy was staring at what was inside. "Stop staring and start pushing!" shouted Donald. He also couldn't help but look inside. He gasped.

"The Heartless!" he and Goofy screamed. "Hurry!" yelled Donald.

"I...can't..."said Sora, who couldn't push the door closed.

"Don't give up!" shouted Riku. He popped up on the other side of the door and started pulling. "C'mon Sora! Together we can do it!"

"Okay!" said Sora, and they both started pushing and pulling. The door was starting to close, but not fast enough.

On the inside of the door, giant shadow heartless were rising up, ready to attack. "It's hopeless!" screamed Donald.

Just then, the giant shadow heartless were destroyed—but by what?

Goofy's eyes were wide open, and so were Donald's, for deep within the darkness, was King Mickey himself.

"Your majesty!" cried Donald and Goofy. You could only see the king's shadow due to the light shining dramatically behind him.

"Now Sora!" cried the king. He whipped out a golden keyblade. "Let's close this door for good!"

"Close it, quick!" shouted Donald.

"But—" went Sora.

"Don't worry," said the king. "There will always be a door to the light!"

Just before they closed the door, Riku saw a light switch on the inside. "I wonder what _this_ does..." he asked, and pulled down the switch.

Immediately, the room behind the door was flooded with light, and everyone could see King Mickey.

Everyone gasped. The king cleared his throat. "Hehe...you weren't actually supposed to see me..." he laughed nervously. If he had known that they would see him, he would have put some pants on.

Plus, it was more mysterious if they didn't know what he looked like.

_The End..._

Kairi stood by herself on a little patch of sand, which was slowly starting to drift away. "Kairi!" shouted Sora, running towards her.

"Sora!" she yelled. They met up, but then a large BOOM shook the ground.

"Agh!" cried Kairi. She nearly fell down, but Sora took her hand. She was starting to float away again.

"Kairi, remember what you said before? About you always being with me?" asked Sora.

"Yeah?" said Kairi, wishing he would get to the point.

"Well, I always thought that that was really cheesy," he said, smiling.

"What did you say?" growled Kairi, but Sora let go of her hand, and they fell away from each other.

Thus, the end of the first game.

But...

_However Did the Princesses Escape...?_

After receiving each of their hearts, the princesses stood in each of their glass cases, wondering what to do next.

"What are we going to do?" asked Cinderella.

"We can't do anything. We might as well just wait in here until our oxygen runs out and perishes us all, one by one," said Aurora.

The rest of the princesses never realized how frighteningly negative Aurora could be.

"Oh! I know!" said Snow White. She started singing. "Lalalalalalaaaaa!" she sang.

Immediately, a white dove appeared, and, when seeing that Snow White was in trouble, it flew over to go save her.

It smashed into the glass and fell down stunned and possibly dead.

Snow White went silent, probably saying a silent prayer.

"Hang on," said Alice. She fumbled to reach down deep into her pocket, brought out a GIANT hammer, and smashed the glass.

She stepped out. Everyone stared at her. "What?" she said. They shook their heads.

_It's always the quiet ones. _

* * *

><p><strong>Tahdah! My story is finally finished! Kudos to all who got my Interview reference! <strong>

**Thank you to Bond Of Flame08, a star-shaped fruit27, and Fuline Lite for giving me suggestions and ideas throughout. You guys are da bomb. **

**I hope everyone enjoyed it, and please stay tuned to other stories I will write in the future!**

**Bunny!**

** (\_/)  
><strong>**(+'.'+)  
><strong>**( U U )  
><strong>**(")_(")  
><strong>


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